Thank God For the Rain

In Taxi Driver, psychopathic self-righteous cabbie Travis Bickle says: "Thank God for the rain which has helped wash away the garbage and trash off the sidewalks."

Here in ScrappleDog, handsome and slender self-righteous idiot Michael Holland says "Thank God for the rain which has helped wash away the dust and pollen out of the air."

It is a beautiful Sunday Morning here in Lititz. It is beautiful because it is raining. As you know, we had a really really heavy storm at the end of June. Since then we have had extremely dry weather for about. The aforementioned storm gave all the plants and trees and flowers and other leaf, acorn, and pollen-producing entities all the juice it needed to do their best to agitate my allergies. And they are doing a great job at it. But they are not alone as the culprits in bothering my extraordinarily sensitive sinuses... I am as much to blame as they.

It's an algebra problem, really. A +B <> is the amount of pollen, dust, mold spores, dog hair, etc. B is how much time I voluntarily spend in the pollen, dust, etc. And C is an allergy reaction that will pretty much incapacitate me for the rest of the day.

The big thing here is NOT the amount of things in the air, it is how much time I spend out there. The things in the air are just doing their own thing. Their job is to create new life by spreading their spores all over the place. And the dust, it doesn't really have a job, it is a vacuous non-entity that just goes where it is told to go by the air currents that are it's masters. The big thing here is who on earth I think I can just go out there and work in the dust and pollen and get away with it. Let's look at the case studies, shall we:

The past 3 weekends have been marked by allergy attacks.

August 13: I spend the preceding 2 days and the morning of the 13th at the Buck Hollow Hunting Camp. There is a dirt road in front and near the camp and dump trucks working on the Lyman Run Dam project kick up an ass-load of dust all weekend long. Also, there are a lot of allergens in the air that my body is not used to, so I have very little immunity against those things. Result: After spending a day at Larry Land, riding in a covered wagon on a dirt road, sitting outside in the dusty air, and vacuuming the camp, the ride home was a very very long one with me sneezing and wiping my nose incessantly.

August 20: About 2,000,000 acorns have fallen off our oak tree. I decided it would be the perfect time to rake them. So I did. I over-exerted myself, did a fair amount of heavy breathing that brought in a lot of allergens and spent the next day at Charolotte's baptism and party sneezing and wiping my nose incessantly.

August 26: I replaced a few pieces of wood on the back porch. Again - outside, some physical exertion with heavy breathing, but more importantly: A whole lot of saw dust. I wore a bandana around my nose and mouth, but to no avail. My allergies started bothering me. Fiona and I then went to Mom and Dad's where Jackdog didn't help my allergy situation. I am not "allergic" to Jackdog, but because I am not around him too much, he does have the ability to assist in working my allergies. So I spent the balance of yesterday at my folks's place and up at Cabela's with dad sneezing and wiping my nose incessantly. The nice thing about yesterday was that it was a Saturday and I didn't have to work the next day... Therefore, I was able to treat my allergies not only with Fexofenodrine, but also with my favorite over-the-counter medicinal aide: Maker's Mark Whisky.

If I want to NOT have allergy attacks, then I need to stop over-doing it when I am outside. I can mow the lawn, but I shouldn't follow it by trimming the hedges and turning the compost. If I am going to fix the back porch, I need to subcontract the cutting of the wood to someone else, i.e. Dad, Christo, Jason, Amy, or Fiona. Doing projects is not the problem, the problem is that I am an idiot who needs to be doing projects in order to feel like I have accomplished something. Otherwise it is Monday morning and I get to work and Miranda says to me: "What did you do this weekend?" And I say "Nothing," and I feel like I wasted two days.

So the problem here is this: I do things that I shouldn't do that are going to bother me. But I can't spend the entire summer not mowing the lawn or getting chores done either. So what can I do? I can resign myself to fact that I have some problems that really bother me and I have to live with it. There are people in the world who have it a lot worse than me so I can't really complain too much about it. I think this attitude is the best thing to have because I can either sit around being incapacitate and being really pissed off about it, or I can say "hey, this is my body telling me to sit down and relax for a few hours. Have a tea-party with Fiona, watch Baby Einstein with Fiona, do the crosswords (which is kind of hard because I am sometimes out of it mentally and the crosswords are a lot harder that way), rent a movie, watch the Phillies on TV, play Risk on the computer, or take a nice long nap."

But, I can still be thankful that the rain is here and will hopefully keep some of the nasty allergens out of the air for a few days. And I can count down to November when the hard frost comes and kills off all the pollen producers.

Peace.

Not much going on

Nothing exciting in the world of MPH the past few days.

Our windows are going to be installed in a few days. I am stoked about that. Hopefully our gas bill will go down significantly in the near future.

I put up the birdhouse that dad made for us. That was fun. I hope we soon have birdies living in it.

I raked the acorns in the yard. It didn't take as long as I expected, but it was a gigantic pain in the thumb. I got a really nasty blister. Here is the kicker: I raked a few thousand acorns and there are about 20,000 more to rake over the next few weeks. They rain down and they hurt quite a bit if you get hit on the head. I am concerned that Nona's b-day party will be somewhat dampened if there is a downpour of acorns while everyone is sitting under the oak tree.

Sunday we went to Charolette Huck's baptism. It was nice to see Bayard and Emelie and get to hang out with them for an afternoon.

Peace.

Sorry so boring.

Weekend at Buck Hollow Hunting Club

This past weekend, Amy, Fiona, Cisco and I went up to the cabin with Kevin, Kara, Megan and Nate Kearney.

As you may or may not know, in May Kevin returned home from a year-long tour of duty in Iraq, so it was nice to be able to spend some time with him and his family.

We had a great time and the weather was perfect from begining to end.

We took a long walking tour of Larry Land, stopping to let Cisco swim in Long Pond. We went over to the new Christmas Trees that Larry and I planted last spring. We found Fiona's Christmas Tree and it looks healthy. After looking at Nona's tree, we hiked over to Pine Pond and Spring Pond. Along the way, we stopped and picked a whole lot of wild raspberries. They were very very tasty. Up at Spring Pond was a gigantic pile of Bear Poop. At one point Fiona was running straight for it and, while Amy was frozen with fear, I swooped in and lifted Fiona out of harm's way just in the nick of time.

After we left Larry Land, we went back to the cabin. That evening we sat around a campfire out back and talked. We saw a Big Mama Bear with two cubs.

On Saturday morning, Kara made pancakes with the wild raspberries we had picked.

Later, we went on a covered wagon ride along Pine Creek in the Grand Canyon of PA. It was pretty neat and Fiona, Megan and Nate really seemed to enjoy it. We then went to the Leonard Harrison State Park on the east rim of the Grand Canyon. Back at camp, we had dinner and smores and sat around the campfire. We saw only one bear, but it was a big one.

On sunday, we packed up and headed home. It was a great weekend to be at the cabin and we were very happy to be able to spend time with the Kearney Family.

SPICE WORLD, the Spice Girls Movie

Last weekend was Maureen's baby shower at my folks' house. Mark's sister, Erin was there and we were talking about movies that you wouldn't normally think were any good. For Instance: Maureen and mark, both of whom graduated from Lehigh and are generally considered pretty smart and to a certain degree "cultured," have an afinity for the movies Drumline and Bring It On, and Mean Girls.

I then said that one of my favorite movies that i am somewhat embarassed to admit i even watched was Spice World, the Spice Girls movie. Erin thought it was insane to even try to comprehend even thinking about even considering the feasibility of possibly watching such a movie.

THEREFORE, I want to try and make a case for Spice World. Here are a few facts I was unable to remember when I was telling Erin about the movie.
The Following People are in Spice World:

Elvis Costello (as himself)
Elton John
George 'Norm Peterson' Wendt*
Roger 'James Bond' Moore
Kevin McKinney of the Kids In The Hall
Meatloaf
Bob 'Boomtown Rats, Live Aid, Live 8' Geldolf **
Jools Holland
Bob Hoskins
Hugh 'House M.D.' Laurie
Richard O'Brien aka Riff Raff from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

How can a movie with this many AWESOME people in it be bad? It can't.
If you rent this movie and you are not 100% completely satisfied, I will send you a full refund for whatever you paid to rent it (up to $4.50 u.s.)***

IF you are still not sold on Spice World, I might direct you to www.spiceworld.uk.com, a web site about spices and how to use them for cooking and/or medicinal purposes.

*As some of you may know, I made a complete ass of myself when I met him at a Basshead concert in New York.

**who also played the role of Pink in Pink Floyd's epic "the Wall" which Erin considers a rock opera... i do not think of it as a rock opera, more of a long-term psychological study of the effects of the trauma of war and instutionalized education on a young child's mind as told through a scattering array of musical vignets that are linked only by a common character. It relates only vague, but yet severe, hypotheticals that could have happened to any one of a number of young British boys who lost their father to a war he did not understand and then went on to become a international rock superstar during and in the immediate aftermath of World War II and had their lives forever changed negatively and is still searching for the answers that he knows he will never find. God, that could have been anyone... literally anyone. You, me, anyone.
An opera, in my ignorant opinion, is a story that is specific to one person and tells his story. I.e. Tommy, Jesus Christ, and Joseph and his Amazing Technocolored Dreamcoat.

Also - - - AND THIS IS IMPORTANT - - - Opera's are entirely sung. The Wall has several lines in it which are spoken. I.e. the operator on the telephone when Pink calls his wife - those lines are not spoken. Also the infamous "you can't have pudding if you don't eat your meat" dialog of the schoolmaster is spoken, not sung. Therefore - NOT an opera.

Of the rock operas - i list them thusly:
1. Jesus Christ Superstar
2. Tommy
3. Joseph and the Amazing Technocolored Dreamcoat

IF The Wall must be included in the list - i list them thusly
1. The Wall
2, Jesus Christ Superstar
3. Tommy
4. Joseph and the Amazing Technocolor Dreamcoat.

***This offer applies to Erin only.

Red Hot Chili Peppers & The Boss

So I've been listening to the new Red Hot Chili Peppers album. So far I like it. Usually when they have a new album out, I'm not so nuts about it, but then after listening to it a few times, I really get into it. This one I liked right off the bat. Chad Smith's drumming really snaps and Frusciante's guitar meanders seamlessly between delicate angelic grace and raging controlled pandemonium. Flea's bass is Flea's bass, always good. But not being a bass afficianado, I can not say if it is any better or more inventive that any other bass player out there. (The bass has always bored the crap out of me. I don't know why.)

There is one lyric on the album that really seemed to pop out at me. I still haven't figured out what the hell it means and if I should be happy or angry about it. Every time I hear it, I stunningly perplexed.

Here it is:
SHE'S GOT THAT MOOD RING
A LITTLE SISTER ROSE
THE SMELL OF SPRINGSTEEN
A PAIR OF PANTYHOSE

"The smell of Springsteen?"
Is that a shout-out?
Or an insult?
Is Keidis giving mad props to the boss, or is he deriding Bruce for what he might view as being something of a media whore?

On Californication, Keidis sez "Cobain can you hear the spheres/singing songs of off Station to Station." Now that is a clear cut example of how to praise both Kurt Cobain and David Bowie. Keidis's (and the RHCP in general) are more likely to be lined up with Nirvana and Bowie than with Bruce and I don't think a whole lot of RHCP's fans are also Bruce fans so maybe he thinks he is able to cut on Bruce.

But RHCP has never been about dissing people and Keidis certainly doesn't need any street-cred like a rapper who needs to put down his enemies to show that he is tough. RHCP and Bruce exist in mutually exclusive circles. Keidis doesn't need to rip on Bruce, unless, as I mentioned earlier, he thinks Bruce is selling out lately. (I.e. being on 60 Minutes, the Today Show, Sirius Satellite Radio, NPR's Fresh Air, BBC's Mastermind, BBC's Great Performances*, CMT, Conan O'Brien, etc. etc.) But I seriously doubt Keidis would openly dis Bruce like that, for two reasons: 1.) One of his good buddies, Eddie Vedder, freaking loves Bruce. And 2.) telling a group of stereotypical RHCP fans that Bruce Springsteen sucks would be like preaching to the choir.

And besides, RHCP has done their fair share of selling out:
1.) they have thier own Adidas Sneakers (I am not making fun of the RHPC for this... these shoes kick so much ass that I would go without lunch for ($209.99/$3.45**) days to get some of these.)
2.) they made a NIKE commercial with Andre Agasi in the early 90's.
3.) they are going to be in a NASCAR commercial.

While I think RHCP and Bruce are at opposite ends of the spectrum musically, i would have to say that with the exceptions of lots of tattoos, RHCP has very very very little in common with Nascar fans. (Oh yeah, maybe the fact that Keidis and Frusciante are recovering addicts... they might have that in common with some Nascar fans.)

Anyway, in writing this I have come to the conclusion that it is just a lyric. Nothing more. A word/name that fit the space. In the preceding verse he says "She doesn't like the Rolling Stones" as if that makes the girl a weirdo. I am not sure if i would be glad if he said "She doesn't like Springsteen." I guess I would... it would imply that he does like Springsteen.

I guess I might be thinking too much.

peace
mph


* what's up with the superlative titles of BBC shows? "Mastermind?" "Great Performances?" If you get invited to go on one of those shows, you better be prepared. You don't want to go on Mastermind and get the $100 question wrong. Or give a average-good performance on "Great Performances."

**the price of 2 Slices and a Coke at Nick's Pizzeria.

Movies

Part of me is looking forward to winter.
Winter is when the days get short and I start to spend more time in front of the tv. I usually start up Netflix and veg out for about 3 months. Here is my current list of movies I will put in my Netflix queue. (Not in any particular order)

Nacho Libre
Wordplay
Superman Returns
Good Night, Good Luck
Click
Night Shift
A Prarie Home Companion
Keeping Up with the Steins
The Benchwarmers
Thank You for Smoking
Strangers with Candy
Who Killed the Electric Car?
Scary Movie 2
Scary Movie 3
Scary Movie 4
Teen Movie 2
Teen Movie 3
Teen Movie 4
Friends with Money
Notorious Betty Paige
American Dreamz
Dave Chappelles Block Party
Madea's Family Reunion
The Pink Panther
Nanny McPhee
Wallace and Grommit: Curse of the WereRabbit
Around the World in 80 Days (The 1989 TV Miniseries version that featured Pierce Brosnin and Eric Idle.)
Talladega Nights: Ballad of Ricky Bobby

This list is banking on the hope that I will be seeing Cars and Pirates of the Caribbean in the theater.

Peace.

Shore Report 2k6

We just got home from our trip to Ocean City, New Jersey and we had a wonderful time.

HIGHLIGHTS

• Scrapple Sticks
• seeing Lucy the Elephant
• my dad and I playing with Fiona in the shallow water
• walking on the boardwalk
• Amy, Fiona, and I getting our pictures taken in one of those photo booths
• playing mini golf with Amy, Maureen, Mark, Nathaniel, and Neil
• Riding waves with Christo
• Hearing Reen and Dad make fun of Bruce Springsteen
• Watching Soccer with Mark
• Food (including but not limited to the following things: the aforementioned Scrapple Sticks, Chicken & Waffles, Waffles & Ice Cream, T.T.'s cake, Aunt Holly's Red Velvet Cake, Pot Pies, mint ice cream, Uncle Bill's Pancakes (mmmmm... stuffed French Toast.) Mack & Manco's Pizza, dutch-oven jambalaya, $3 Coconut Macaroons, Browns Cinnamon, Honey, Plain, and Powdered donuts, French Fries.)
• Hanging out with Dritsas on Sunday afternoon and dropping Mentos into a 2-litre bottle of Diet Coke
• Wonderland Pier
• digging in the sand
• riding a surrey bike with Amy and Fiona
• going to see Bruce Springsteen with Seamus
• going to see Bruce Sprignsteen with Amy, Maureen, and Mark

A FEW RANDOM NOTES ON THE SHORE TRIP

• Mark won the Miniature-Golf Tournament (If Reen would have had a three or less on the last hole of the last game, she would have won the tournament... she got a 6 on that hole.)
• I did not get sunburned at all.
• Amy, Fiona, and I sent a total of 18 post cards.
• I lost my St. Patrick/St. Brigid medallion in the ocean. My mom and dad got that for me when they went to Ireland in 2000.
• Mack & Manco's pizza is completely over-rated and over-priced.
• The Bruce Concert was awesome, but I was actually more excited about being there with Seamus, and Maureen and Mark then I was about seeing Bruce. And that makes me very very happy. I love Bruce, but he wasn't even close to being the best part of that evening.

A FEW FUNNY THINGS THAT WERE SAID AT THE SHORE

• While I was reading "Body Brokers," a book about the illegal sales of deceased human bodies for medical experiments, my cousin asked how much a human brain costs, and I responded "$600." My Dad then said: "Perhaps you (meaning me) should save up for a new one."
• While Bruce Springsteen was singing 'Maria's Bed' for the first time on the entire tour and I was singing along enthusiastically, Seamus came over to me and said: "What's for dinner?"
• While discussing Fiona's Strawberry Shortcake shoelaces and Amy's need for Fiona to like Strawberry Shortcake and my NEED for Fiona to like Scrapple, Mark and I both said some thing that ended with the words: "Scrapple Shoelaces." (I think if I ever have a band, it will be called "Scrapple Shoelaces.")
• After telling Caitlin that she should try to never get old, she said to me: "You're not old." I then said, "Thank you... how old do you think I am?" Caitlin then said: "Ummm... 46?"

FUN FACTS

• Mack and Manco's Pizza and my Uncle Tim are both 50 years old.
• Samantha and Sara's first solid food was Mack and Manco's pizza.
• The She Sharks beat the Sea Monkeys at Wiffle ball after Amy "Zimmy" Holland blasted a three-run homer over the head of her husband.
• Amy and I got some Christmas Shopping done.
• As for Ocean City license plates for bicycles, they did not have Fiona, Nona, Kellen, or Madison. They did, however, have Omar. (Incidentally, they did have SARA and SAMANTHA.)

If I remember more fun things, I will update them later.

OCNJ 2K6

Yeah, we are heading out to Ocean City N.J. bright and early tomorrow morning.

I am all packed, thanks to Amy. She packed all my clothes and whatnot and I have been put in charge of remembering to bring the Bruce Springsteen tickets.

I have already placed them in the suitcase, but knowing myself as well as I do, I will probably check the suitcase again tonight... then tomorrow morning before I put the suitcase in the car... and then after I put the suitcase in the car because you know there is a chance that they could have fallen out between our front door and the curb... i will also probably check when we get to the Frank S. Farley rest stop... and then again when we get to the apartment.

And then i will check again on saturday night, sunday morning, sunday night, monday morning, monday night, tuesday morning, tuesday afternoon, and tuesday before we leave for the show. I will then check again when we are about a block from the apartment, perhaps again 10 minutes later, again 30 minutes later and then when we get to the parking lot of the Tweeter Center. I will then walk to the gate with the tickets in my pocket and my hand on the tickets while they are in my pocket and when we finally arrive at the gate and I give Amy, Maureen, Mark, and Seamus their tickets, and then hand MY ticket to the ticket-taker... then I will relax about the tickets.

Then I will be able to enjoy the rest of my week, knowing that I have absolutely nothing else to worry about for the next 5 days... except losing at minigolf.

peace
mph

New Movies

MOVIES OUT NOW (OR COMING OUT SOON) THAT LOOK REALLY GOOD
1. Nacho Libre
2. Cars
3. Strangers With Candy
4. Superman Returns (I want to see this movie at an IMAX theater.)
5. The Break-Up

MOVIES OUT NOW THAT LOOK LIKE THEY TOTALLY SUCK
1. Garfield 2: The Tale of Two Kitties
2. The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift

Peace
MPH

SUMMER OF MPH V2.0?

Could this be the Summer of Michael P. Holland Version 2.0?

Let's look at the summer so far:

I had a few warm up days in late spring with a Springsteen Concert and a trip to the cabin with Dad and Larry.

And then a trip to see the Phillies with Dad and Fiona.

And then Memorial Day was upon us and with it, we went to Vermont and Mass.

The next weekend, Fiona spent her first night away from home by herself, hanging out with MomMom and Pop-Pop, while Amy and I went out to eat and bowling with friends.

And coming up: a trip to the shore that will be punctuated with minature golf, playing in the ocean with Fiona, perhaps going to see Cars, and of course, Going To See BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN with Amy, Maureen, Mark, and Seamus. Dude, how cool is Seamus? Going to rock with the boss when he is only 5 years old?BONUS: Dritsas might be going, too.

The week after that is fourth of July. And beyond that... who knows? All I can say is life is good for MPH.

peace

Trip to Massachusetts

Well, we are home from our whirl-wind tour of New England. We arrived home last night and all slept really really well in our own beds.

Our three days in Massachusetts were great. We ate Lobster and went candle-pin bowling. We watched 4 episodes of The Office and went to a really cool garden that had a merry-go-round.

Amy painted a cow jumping over the moon on the wall of Maureen & Mark's nursery. Fiona got to play with her Auntie Maureen and Uncle Mark a whole lot.

We got to drive our new car a whole lot and it was fine.

Couple of Vermont/Massachusetts lists:
Number of Dunkin' Donuts we saw while we were there:
1.) Like a billion.

Number of DD's we ate at:
2.) Zero (we did have some at Joe & Tammy's house and we stopped at one in Rhode Island, but we did not actually eat at any in Vermont or Mass.)

Most annoying things about Massachusetts:
1.) The way people drive
2.) All those freaking Red Sox hats, t-shirts, sweatshirts, bumper stickers (or as they say up there 'bumpah stickahs'), liscense plates, banners, flags, clocks, etc etc etc

Number of Rotaries we needed to negotiate:
1.) about 10

Number of times the guy behind me was aggitated enough with my inability to pull the trigger and merge into the rotary that he was forced to honk his horn:
1.) only once

Number of days while we were in Mass that it rained:
1.) Zero

How long it rained on the day we had to drive home
1.) Over 7 hours.
2.) From Maureen's house striaght through to Hamburg PA

Number of diapers we had left when we arrived at my folks' house at the end of our drive:
1.) 1... the one that Fiona was wearing.

Number of times Amy got Punk'd by me and/or Maureen
1.) 2
a.) I made her believe that she had forgot to tell me that Fiona's clothes were packed in a different bag from ours and that that bag was still at home. Hilarious.
b.) Reen got Amy to believe that Dunkin Donuts in Massachusetts closed at 3:00 on Fridays so they could prepare for the Saturday rush.

What the guy at the candlepin bowling place entered into the automated scoring system when Maureen told him Amy's name
1.) Katie

How our names appeared on the automated scoring system thing:
1.) MIK
2.) KAT
3.) MAU
4.) MAR

Candlepin bowling results
1.) Mark
2.) Katie (Amy)
3.) Maureen
4.) Mike

Number of miles on our new car when we left Lititz:
1.) 84

Number of miles on our car when we arrived in Lititz:
1.) 1,446

Number of states Fiona was in for the first time:
1.) 6 (New York, Vermont, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut.)

That is all for now.

Peace,
MPH

Vermont

I am checking in here from Massachusetts. Amy and I arrived yesterday after a real good time in Vermont. We did almost all the stuff we wanted to do. And we did all the stuff we really wanted to do like hang out with Joe and Tammy, and Tim, Nicole, Owen, and Marnie. We also went to Trattoria Delia, our Favorite Vermont Restaurant.
Here is what I had:
Scamorza alla Griglia Wood-grilled handmade smoked mozzarella served on a bed of arugula with grilled tomatoes, eggplant and zucchini drizzled with extra-virgin olive oil.

Spaghetti alla Pescatora Fresh baby clams, mussels, shrimp and calamari sauteed with olive oil, white wine, garlic, herbs and tomatoes.

Semifreddo alle Mandorle Literally translated, a “semi-frozen” vanilla mousse with a “Torrone” almond nougat, drizzled with a warm caramel sauce.

And a Coke.

The next day we went to Al's French Fries for lunch. I had a pizza burger, a sausage sandwich, some french fries. And a Coke. Fiona had a Hot Dog, and Amy had a Cheeseburger and some french fries.

On Tuesday, we went up to Stowe and ate at The Shed. Mmmmmmm... Shed Burger. I had a Shed Bacon-cheeseburger and fries. And a Mountain Ale Brew. Man alive it was really good. I do not consider myself much of a beer conniseur, but this beer was very good. It was light and very crisp and refreshing. I enjoyed it a great deal, but as I don't drink so much anymore, I did not buy a growler of it to take home with me. (Joe got me a case of Magic Hat's Fat Angel Ale, which is my favorite Vermont Beer.)


We then went on the touristy tour of Stowe/Waterbury. We went to the Cold Hollow Cider Mill where I worked when we first moved to Vermont. And we went to Cabot Cheese for some free cheese. My dad still holds the record for most free cheese eaten. His picture is on the wall. And we went to Ben & Jerry's. I bought some post cards and stamps. I asked for 9 stamps, but they accidentally gave me 11. I didn't realize the error until we were down the road a ways. Ha Ha, i got one over on Ben & Jerrys. I ripped them off for 48 cents!!! DOWN WITH THE CAPITALIST HIPPIES!!

Now we are here in Mass with Maureen and Mark and we are having fun. Amy is painting a mural on the nursery wall, Fiona is watching Sesame Street with her Auntie Reen, and I am relaxing! When Mark gets home we are going out for Lobster at the Lobster Trap. All is good!

Trip to Vermont/Massachusetts

In honor of our trip to Vermont, I am putting up this comic that features me and Joe and Nicole.

You can click on the comic and it will appear bigger.

We will be taking our brand new Saturn Vue on our trip north. Our Fordy Ford did not pass inspection as it was "Uninspectable due to rusted frame and unsafe to drive." I look forward to getting a new car, because i will finally get to drive my Subaru which we have been for Fiona for the past 21 months.



here is my list of stuff to do/stuff not to forget in preparation for my trip to Vermont and Massachusetts:

1.) Make tapes to listen to in car:
a. King of the Hill
b. Pete& Pete
c. So I Married An Ax-Murderer
d. NewsRadio

2.) MP3 Players
3.) FM Transmitter *
4.) Directions
5.) Mow Lawn
6.) Pay Bills
7.) Update Blog
8.) Fill up Mp3 Players (I have 2 MP3 players. I put the Rolling Stones 40 Licks, Shawn Colvin's A Few Small Repairs, & Natalie Merchant's Tigerlilly on the MP3 player Amy gave me for Father's Day last year and Bruce Springsteen's The Rising, Devils and Dust, and the Seeger Sessions, and Dar Williams' My Better Self on the MP3 player i won at work last month.)
9.) Addresses for Postcards
a. Madison
b. Connor
c. Molly
d. Seamus
e. T.T.
10.) Cell Charger
11.) Allergy Medication
12.) Mail Netflix Movie back (The Movie is "Therese: The Story of St. Therese of Lisieux." I liked it a lot. I cancelled Netflix and if i don't get it back to them by thursday, i will have to purchase the movie.)
13.) Cell Phone & Charger
14.) Wallet

There is a second list as well with stuff to take up to Joe and Tammy:
1.) Yuengling
2.) Miller's Hot Sausage
3.) Devils & Dust
4.) The Rising
5.) Seeger Sessions

I was going to get Joe some real scrapple, but I think it would go bad by the time we got to Vermont.

Restaurants I want to go to in Vermont:
1.) Trattorial Delia
2.) The Shed
3.) Al's
4.) Munchies

We don't have a list of anything to take to Mark and Maureen.
Here is what I want to to in Massachusetts:
1.) Candlepin Bowling
2.) Eat Lobster
3.) Watch the Office Marathon on NBC on Thursday Night. (They are showing the episode where Michael hooks up with Jan. It is the only episode i haven't seen. I missed it because I was rockin with with Boss.)

*I actually don't need the FM Transmitter since our new car has an MP3 player input jack! Hot Diggety!

Peace

6 years ago today.....

Today (May 20) is Amy and My 6th anniversary.
The traditional gift for 6 years is iron, so i was a bit limited in what i could give Amy for our anniversary. A frying pan and an iron. I am thinking she would probably hit me in the head with them and my head would take the shape of the object, like in the cartoons. The other option, i suppose, is a wraught-iron fence. Iron Chef on DVD. An Iron Maiden cd?

Thankfully, there is the "modern" anniversary list that makes it easy for me. The sixth anniversary gift is: candy.

Well, you all know me well enough to know that i didn't just get amy a box of chocolates.

I actually put some thought into it and made her a mixed cd of all candy and sugar songs.

The track list is as follows:
Sugar Sugar by The Archies
Candy Everybody Wants by 10000 Maniacs
Lips Like Sugar by Echo and the Bunnymen
Candy's Room by Bruce Springsteen
Candy Man by Ramblin' Jack Elliot
Candy by Morphine
Candy by Iggy Pop and Kate Pierson
Sugar Shack by Johnny Gilmare
Candy By the Pound by Elton John
Brown Sugar by The Rolling Stones
I Want Candy by Bow Wow Wow

Some of the songs are pure pop - like Sugar Sugar, Sugar Shack, and I Want Candy. Some are a little blue, like Candy, and Candy. And I am pretty sure Ramblin' Jack is singing about a cocaine dealer. But I like the songs.

Songs that I left off and why:
Candy Store Rock by Led Zeppelin: it doesn't have the words 'candy' or 'sugar' in it at all.
Big Rock Candy Mountain by Burl Ives - i only have it on lp.
Sugar Baby by Bob Dylan - it is 6 minutes long and boring and slow.
Candyland by James McMurtry - it is not about candy or love... candyland is more of a methaphorical idea of a suburban landscape where everyone has what they think are good lives...but ultimately they are empty inside. (Incidentally, Candyland (the album) is my least favorite James McMurtry album. I highly recommend 1995's "Where'd You Hide the Body.")
Candyman by Sammy Davis Jr. - Sammy Davis always kind of creeped me out.
Candyman by The Grateful Dead - Dude, I hate the Grateful Dead.
Candy Shop by 50 Cent - yeah, that was kind of a no-brainer.
Good Shop Lollipop by Shirely Temple - i was going to put this on there to be ironic because the way Shirely Temple sings it really aggrivates Maureen. But I decided to not put a song on the album that i don't think Amy would like just to have an mildly amusing story to tell Maureen. And then when we listened to the album we might think less about our anniversary and more about Maureen's intense hatred of a little white girl who used her increadible tapdancing abilities to help the poor negores in the antebellum south make the best of their lot in life. "Sure, Mr. Bojangles, you don't have food, clothes, money, clean drinking water, an education, or even your freedom, but this song about a ocean liner made out of candy should take away all of your problems." (Fun fact about Shirley Temple: She is on the Sgt. Peppers album cover 3 times.)

I thought Lips Like Sugar was by the Cure, but it is not. A friend of mine in college, Steve Foland, once met Robert Smith of the Cure who said to him, "I just want to be treated like a normal person." Steve said he wished he had had the balls to say "Well then stop acting like such a freak."

Since the 6th anniversary is the Candy Anniversary, my wish list is as follows:
The Kids In The Hall movie Brain Candy on DVD.

My favorite fun fact about my wedding day: The last thing I ate as a bachelor was a piece of scrapple the size of a liscense plate.

MMMMM..... scrapple.

peace.

BRUUUUUUUCE!!!

T-minus 31 days until i see Bruce Springsteen with Amy, Maureen, and Mark.

2 Notes:
1.) Reen isn't fat, she's prego.
2.) It was actually a phone call, but I have a hard time drawing people talking on the phone.

Chewbacca Comic

(C) 2006 Michael P. Holland
Ducky Comics

Is Big Pete a Phillies Phan?

Awww, yeah.... Big Pete is rockin' what appears to be a Philadelphia Phillies hat in an episode titled "On Golden Pete."

What do the Phillies and Spinal Tap have in common???

A mullet and a kick-ass fu manchu.
Spinal Tap bassist, Derek Albion Smalls and Phillies catcher, Sal Fasano.

Weekend Plans

This weekend, Jan 27 - 29, I plan to do the following things:

Here are my chores:
I am going to clean the garage. I want to get all our tax stuff together. I want to burn some of the fallen branches and wood in the back yard. I need to repair two small floor boards on the second floor. Go to gym.

Fun stuff:
Play with Fiona. Work on my cigarbox ukulele. Blow through a $25 Barnes & Noble gift card. Watch some movies (Hotel Rwanda, National Treasure). Do a calendar drawing or two.

Holler.

Peace,
MPH

Springsteen & Alito

Alito Likes Springsteen. I like Springsteen. Therefore, by the awe-inspiring power of the transitive property, I like Alito.

Actually, I am indifferent to Alito. I am pro-life and I think the president's powers should be kept in check. So I am split with Alito.

But you all know the real reason you check in with scrapple dog - you want to hear about Bruce.

Dick Durbin invoked Bruce's name during the confirmation hearing and then when Alito made a quick comment on the boss and the New Jersey senate's decision to try and make Born To Run the state song. I think the senate actually tried to make it the official "Youth Anthem" of New Jersey. I always found that amusing - trying to make Born To Run the anthem of the youth. Born To Run is about trying your hardest to escape where you are from. So the best New Jersey can do is let the rest of the U.S. know that it whole-heartedly supports is youth trying to escape.

Dick Durbin comes off as kind of a jerk. I can understand if he and his Democratic comrades don't like Alito and/or his views, but can't they have just a little bit of class when they ask questions?? Why is it all about berating and asking pointed questions and talking down to him? Why can't it be a civilized exchange of ideas?

I hate when they ask him to defend something he said 20 years ago. 20 years is a long long time. Has Dick Durbin changed his mind on anything in the last 20 years?

NOW- before you all point too fine a point on my words, I do know that we are talking about a sensitive issue like abortion here and people's opinions don't usually change on a topic such as that. So let me say this: 20 years ago I would have said that abortion is murder. 10 years ago I would have said that abortion should be a woman's right. Now I say that abortion is murder.

I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed, but I'm not an idiot either. My world views are shaped and changed over time. Is it possible that something Alito wrote 20 years ago isn't exactly how he feels now??? Is it at all possible that he does, perhaps, have the ability to change.

This crap aggravates me.

20 yeas from now, Fiona is going to read old issues of smokin' dog and she is going to read in there a whole bunch of junk that a young mis-guided idiot wrote. That won't make her father a mis-guided idiot, will it?

I don't think anyone should ever be held accountable for things they said and wrote 20 years ago.

A lot of the left-wing groups who are makings sure that Alito's feet are held to the fire on the abortion thing he wrote 20 years ago fought like hell to try to keep Stan Tookie Williams alive. Tookie killed people. If the person who started the most notorious street gang in the world, a gang that is responsible for literally thousands of deaths, can change in less than 20 years, can't Samuel Alito? Oh hell no, Alito is pure evil and will be forever because 20 years ago he thought it was wrong to kill babies. What a freaking lunatic. What kind of screwed-up society do we live in where the convicted murder is the good guy and the Princeton-educated, father and husband, never been arrested or in trouble with the law for anything Supreme-Court nominee is the bad guy??

Anyway, I am not for or against Alito.

I am whole-heartedly against abortion. And I am whole-heartedly against the death penalty. And I do think people can change in 20 years.

peace
mph

Critmas 2k6

Christmas this year was awesome. We had Christmas with the Hollands on December 18. And we celebrated Christmas day with the Zimmerman clan on Christmas Day.

I was slightly disappointed to learn that the gift from my folks had not arrived in time for the Christmas Celebration, but that is cool. I figured my folks have a pretty good track record when it comes to really good gifts, that I could wait a little while.

Christo, Becky, and Taylor gave me The Office season 1 on DVD. (the u.s. version of The Office.) They also gave me the Langhorne Slim CD, When the Sun's Gone Down. I truly love it and since putting it in my mp3 player 2 weeks ago, i think i have listened to it about 15 times. LOVE THAT CD. (My only gripe about the cd is that the songs are too short. every song on it could be at least a minute longer.) On the song Loretta Lee Jones, Langhorne Slim mentions Lucy the elephant, from Margate N.J. I thought that was pretty cool and it brought a smile to my face to hear that line.

Reen and Mark got us silverware which we desperately needed. Our old collection of silverware was a hodge podge collection of utentsils with few matching designs. Our utensil drawer looked like a knife/fork/spoon representation of the United Nations. Sure, they are all utensils, and they all want to acheive a common goal, but they just don't look the same. When Amy asked Maureen how she knew we needed utensils, Maureen replied "I've eaten at your house." Touche.

After round one of gift giving, I had to say that Christo was in the lead for best gift yet. But there were still a lot of contenders eyeing the prestegious title of "BEST GIFT OF THE YEAR" award.

Joe and Tammy sent a package that we opened on Christmas Eve before going up to Shamokin. They got me a totally kick-ass Hard Rock Cafe Bruce Springsteen t-shirt. Yeah... I'm digging that shirt.

After round two, i am thinking that Joe may have moved into the lead.

Before cruising to Shamokin, we went up to Reading to see my folks. Well, they had my gift for me. They got me a new book by Woody Guthrie called Artworks. 335 pages of art by Woody. And, the icing on the cake, the book is signed by Nora Guthrie, Woody's daughter and director of the Woody Guthrie Archives. This book was well worth the wait.

After round three, Christo and Joe have been KO'd. Only Amy, Mom Z, and Fiona have a chance to take home the prize now.

Christmas Eve in Shamokin was spent riding four-wheelers with my nephew Randy and my brother-in-law, Jeff. We had a lot of fun riding around the coal banks of Shamokin. When I got back from riding, I was HORIFIED to learn that Amy had left my Christmas gifts in Lititz. No big deal, she brought Fiona's gifts, and that is really all that mattered.

On Christmas morning, I recieved the one gift amy did bring along - a really warm fleece bathrobe.

After 4 rounds, Mom and Dad are still in the lead. But Amy has gifts waiting for me at home!

We had a wonderful day at Mom Z's. Fiona loved opening her gifts and she seemed to really enjoy handing out the gifts as well. Someone told me that Christmas is a thousand times better when you have a kid of your own to share it with, and i have to say that is absolutely true. Fiona was so happy all day Christmas. She got a play barn with some little horses and cows. She played with that all morning. Mom Z made a wonderful Christmas turkey with all the fixings. There was plenty of cookies and treats. It was a truly wonderful day.

We got home to Lititz around 7:30 and I was given the rest of my gifts. Amy got me MacGyver season 3 on DVD - awesome. 22 more episodes of my favorite show of all time... only now that I am older and not as willing to suspend my disbelief, i find the show to be increadibly cheesy and impossible to make sense of. Half of the crap he does would never ever work. Never. BUT, that is what I love about it also. It is just fun to watch. And Connor loves it, so I can watch it with him and remember how much I loved it when I was younger. Amy also got me the new Born To Run box set. The box set comes with a dvd of Bruce's first concert in England. I am really looking forward to clearing out a little patch of time and watching it.

Fiona got me a book called You are My Miracle by Maryann Cusimano Love. I love it because it reminds me so much of me and Fiona. All of the pictures in it are of Christmas scenes, but i am thinking Fiona and I will be reading this book all year long. A lot of times when I am reading to her, she will try and flip the pages and turn ahead to the back of the book, but when I am reading You are my Miracle she just looks at the pictures.

Amy's generosity with the DVD and the Bruce Juice put her close to the top for the prize, but Fiona edged her out with the book. The book Fiona got for me was truly a gift that I will cherish forever. I am confident that for years to come I will be reading this book to Fiona.

At the end of 5 rounds, Mom & Dad and Fiona are both reaching for the brass ring. And when it comes down to it, I think I am going to give the prize to my precious darling angel. Fiona's book was the first gift I have received in years that brought a tear to my eye. Reading it with her for the first time on Christmas night was so special and is something I will remember for years to come.

Congratulations, Fiona, you are the Queen of Christmas. I hope you are able to also take home the Queen of Mike's Birthday prize as well.

King Kong - not my favorite movie of all time

Jason and I went to see King Kong and I was grossly disappointed.

My main complaints will be directed at Peter Jackson and the managers of the Fox movie theater.

The Fox movie theater ruined the first 50 minutes of the movie by allowing an infant into the theater. I left the theater to get a manager to come in and kick the people out. Which they did after about 15 more minutes of hearing the kid periodically cry and whine and moan. Question: what kind of stupid idiot brings an infant to a 3-hour movie that you know is going to be super-freaking loud???? Follow up question: why does the theater allow infants into the theater??? Let me guess... $$$$$??

Here is what I thought about the movie:

First and foremost I will start with the positives.

Jack Black was really awesome as the filmmaker. I am hoping that this is his first step in taking his acting to a more serious role. JB is hilarious and his constant buffoonery is hilarious, but he also seems to have the ability to do dramatic roles. The naysayers will nay say and say nay to the idea that he will be anything but a jokester who can't tackle acting like an adult. To which I will reply, "Tom Hanks." Tom Hanks was the king of buffoons ­Bosom Buddies, Bachelor Party, and The Money Pit. Now he is king of the serious actors with two best actor Oscars.

The Girl in the movie was very pretty.

The special effects were stunning. And the computer-generated animation was really neat.

Now I will get to all the crap that bugged me.

TOO FREAKING LONG.
3 hours, most of which was close up shots of the aforementioned pretty girl. I love close up shots of pretty girls, but when literally 20 minutes of the movie is spent on her, and on her and Kong looking lovingly into each other's eyes, it gets a little tired. Peter Jackson could have edited about 45 minutes of this movie and still had the same end results.

THE FIGHT SCENES
The fight scenes were way too long and drawn out. I know that fight scenes are always drawn out in all kinds of movies, and I just can't stand it. Whether is it Obi-Wan vs. Anakin, or King Kong vs. 3 T-Rex's, I can not stand long drawn-out fight scenes. And here is why: YOU KNOW BEFORE HAND WHO IS GOING TO WIN. Obviously, there is no way in heck that the t-rexes are going to kill King Kong. That would make for a very short and anti-climatic movie. Furthermore, you know that the girl is not going to be killed for the same reason. Duh!

THE DINOSAURS
When all the dinosaurs were chasing them, and the velicioraptors came out, all I could think was "yeah, I hated this movie the first time I saw it when it was called 'Jurassic Park.'"

WILLING SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF
I am willing to explore the coexistence of fantasy and reality. In this movie, we are expected to believe that there is an island and giant apes, and dinosaurs and human-sized yellow jackets. And we are expected to believe that mere humans, just like you and me, go to the island. The only things that exist outside the realm of reality are uncharted prehistoric island, the dinosaurs, King Kong and the other creatures that live on the island. Everything else is real, i.e. the depression, cars, humans, prohibition, etc etc etc. I am willing to suspend my disbelief IF some semblance of reality is maintained. Example: I am willing to accept for entertainment purposes that there is an uncharted island in the middle of the ocean. AND I am willing to believe that there are dinosaurs and 25' tall 2-ton gorillas living on the island. AND I am willing to believe that this gorilla is captured and brought back to New York City and subsequently goes on a rampage in the city etc. etc. etc.

I am not willing to accept that basic laws of nature including (1) the structural integrity of human bones and joints, (2) man's ability to run over uneven terrain in a rain forest environment, (3) a young woman's ability to run over uneven terrain in a rainforest environment WITH NO SHOES ON, (4) her ability to climb an out-side ladder to the top of the Empire State Building in a skirt and high heels and (5) her ability to stand unassited atop the Empire State Building because of the shear wind force at 1250'.

ITEM 1 - THE STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY OF HUMAN BONES AND JOINTS Fantasy - the giant ape carries the young woman through the jungle (I am okay with that.) and he RUNS through the jungle jostling her about like a rag doll and he fights 3 Tyrannosaurus Rexes tossing her from hand to hand and often holding and carrying her with his feet. (I am not okay with that). In reality her neck would have been snapped a dozen times, her arms would have been broken, her knees would have snapped and I am fairly positive dozens of her tendons would have ripped.

Giant Apes and dinosaurs clearly exist OUTSIDE the realm of reality, BUT the young woman in the movie is supposed to exist within the realm of reality. She is not a superhero or strong woman who can withstand the constant jarring and shaking of a 2-ton gorilla. I mean he shakes her like he’s a British nanny for twenty minutes and she has no neck pain?? There are plenty of lawyers who will tell you that a rear-end collision of less than 5 miles-per-hour would cause sustained neck damage.

ITEM 2 - MAN'S ABILITY TO RUN OVER UNEVEN TERRAIN IN A RAIN FOREST ENVRIONMENT
The adventurers in the movie are running from the dinosaurs and are able to run at all-out sprints over wet jagged rocks without slipping or falling. Anyone who has done any hiking or low-grade mounting climbing knows how hard it is to keep your footing on uneven terrain. The situation is further complicated when the ground is wet. Those guys would have been slipping and sliding falling all over the place like an octogenarian on a hockey rink.

ITEM 3 - A YOUNG WOMAN'S ABILITY TO RUN OVER UNEVEN TERRAIN IN A RAINFOREST ENVIRONMENT WITH NO SHOES ON
See above, but add the fact that she has no shoes on. Her feet would have been ripped to shreds like the accounting records at Enron and I am willing to bet her ankles would have been twisted and turned like dough at a pretzel-making convention.

ITEM 4 - HER ABILITY TO CLIMB AN OUT -SIDE LADDER TO THE TOP OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING IN A DRESS AND HIGH HEELS
There is snow on the ground and it is cold outside when King Kong is going on his rampage, and the girl is wearing a flimsy dress. If it was 35 degrees on the ground the temperature at 1250 feet would have been 14 degrees. There is no way she could have climbed that ladder and stood up there. Not even with a prolonged adrenaline rush. NO FREAKING WAY.

ITEM 5 - SHEAR WIND FORCE
The top of the Empire State Building was originally going to be used as a docking and refueling station for Zeppelins, but the force of the wind atop the building was too strong and gusty for blimps to dock safely. That being said I find it a little hard to believe that a 11O-pound woman in high heels would be able to stand atop the great building. The wind would have pushed her around like she was a nerd in a high-school football team's locker room. The wind speeds at the top of the Empire State Building are in the neighbor hood of 30 mph with gusts up 50 mph. The metal-plated tower on top of the building was planned as a zeppelin port but it was used for only one zeppelin landing because the winds were too strong at such heights making mooring dangerous. It is too windy for a zeppelin to port, but not too windy for a scantily-clad woman in high heels to jump around waving off incoming sopwith camels. Total total crap.

Again, I am okay with Giant apes, but I am not okay with a young woman being able to just stand unassisted on top of the empire state building.

And my final complaint: CLOSURE

There was none! ! !! Monkey Dies - Film Ends ... that was it!! !

There was this father-son, mentor/apprentice relationship between a salty dog sailor and a young stowaway. The mentor guy, who did everything he could to protect the young guy, got killed. And then there was no mention of what became of the kid. Did he leave the sea and get married and settle down? Did he himself become a crusty old seafarer? They made such a big deal out of this relationship and then it just ended.

The sea captain, who was a central character for about 90 minutes of the movie, is forgotten when they got back to New York.

Did the girl and the play writer get together and have kids and whatnot? Peter Jackson just left them kissing at the top of the Empire State Building. What happened to them?

Was there any criminal charges placed against Jack Black's character? He brings this ape to NYC and it goes on a killing rampage. I don't think he would get off scot-free.

All in all, I really disliked this movie.

TreeHuggers vs Russian Oil

History Lesson Part 1: The United States bought the 526,000 square miles that would later become Alaska from Russia on March 30, 1867. We paid $7.2 million. The purchase was conducted by Secretary of State William Seward and the purchase became known as "Seward's Folly" and (my favorite) "Seward's Icebox." We bought Alaska for it's abundant natural resources.

History Lesson Part 2: TreeHuggers are cowards who chose to engage in battles with enemies whom they know will not fight back.

The TreeHuggers are pissed off yet again about the potential destruction of the interior of Alaska. The Bush Administration wants to drill in the interior, but the TreeHuggers want to make sure that the not a single animal is harmed in any way whatsoever.

We bought Alaska for cheap fuel and we spent $8,000,000,000 to build an 800-mile pipeline to get that fuel down here to the Continental United States. I don't see any reason not to exploit the hell out of a piece of land that we bought for the implicit reason of exploiting. You buy things to use them. You don't buy a car to not drive it. You don't buy a house to not live in it. You don't buy a 526,000 square-mile oil reserve to not drill it.

The Russians have reserves of 60,000,000,000 barrels. The area from which this oil is drilled is in a similar climate to the interior of Alaska and supports the same wildlife.

The TreeHuggers are concerned about the animals that might lose their way of life if the oil rigs move in. But the TreeHuggers do not seem to care about the Russian Polar Bears, only the American Polar Bears. The TreeHuggers are not going door-to-door in Moscow trying to get people to write to their elected officials to shut down the oil rigs.

The TreeHuggers know that if they tried to make a stand in Russia the chances are pretty good that they would, in fact, be arrested and jailed and perhaps sent to Siberia where they would have a pretty good view of the oil rigs that got them in their predicament in the first place. No, the jackass TreeHuggers go door-to-door here in the USA because they know that they can be as stupid and obnoxious as they want be because they aren't actually breaking any laws. (This comes from a story on NPR's Marketplace about TreeHuggers that went door-to-door on Halloween to raise awareness about drilling in Alaska.)

So here is my solution to this problem: let's sell Alaska back to Russia with the caveat that we get oil in the ground for half price. Let Russia exploit the hell out of that land and let the stupid TreeHuggers cry and moan. Then when they come a-calling about the destruction of the interior of Alaska, we can all just blame it on those evil Godless Russians. We win, Russia wins, the TreeHuggers lose. YIPPEE!!!

Recap: TreeHuggers only care about American Animals, therefore they are racist xenophobes.

SPRINGSTEEN IN T-MINUS 12 DAYS

Here is a list of songs i want to hear.
I kept the list to 26 songs, because that is how many songs he has been performing per night on this tour.

1. Santa Ana
2. Zero and Blind Terry
3. Lost In The Flood
4. The Angel
5. For You
6. Incident on 57th Street
7. She's The One
8. The River
9. Point Blank
10. Atlantic City
11. Johnny 99
12. Be True
13. Reason To Believe
14. Used Cars
15. Nebraska
16. Highway Patrolman
17. Dancin' In The Dark
18. Human Touch
19. The Big Muddy
20. Youngstown
21. Lonesome Day
22. All The Way Home
23. Long Time Coming
24. The Hitter
25. Maria's Bed
26. All I'm Thinking About

alternates:

1. Wreck on the Highway
2. Stolen Car
3. ANY Woody Guthrie Song
4. ANY Bob Dylan Song
5. Darkness on the Edge of Town
6. Badlands!
7. Candy's Room!

Wish me luck.

Peace.

GWBush the Leader vs. GWBush the Christian

PROLOGUE:
This rant came about a few weeks ago when I sent Jason this picture and he and I engaged in an e-mail argument about whether or not GWBush is a good leader or a good Christian, and whether or not Jesus has a sense of humor concerning GWBush and tragedies like Katrina.

The whole "GWBush is a good Christian" thing has been bugging me for a long time, so I am glad that something got me to purge it from my system.

"IS GWBUSH A GOOD CHRISTIAN?"

I believe in a forgiving God and no, I do not profess to be a perfect Christian and yes - I meant to say "allowing" capital punishment. George W. Bush, as governor of Texas, allowed 152 executions. A true Christian would not have allowed ANY executions. I am not saying that any of the people were innocent, and I am not saying that they should have been freed and I am not saying that they shouldn't have been put in prison for the rest of their lives, but I am saying that a true Christian, like Gandhi or St. Francis or Padre Pio, would have forgiven these people. Jesus Christ refused to hate and refused to hurt anyone, no matter how bad they hurt him. George Bush doles out vengeance like it his birthright. And many will say that as the governor, he does, in fact, have the right to sign execution papers. As a governor, yes he does, but as a true Christian, he does not.

Christian politicians need to make a choice: Either be a Christian or be a politician, you can't do both. (Matthew 6:24: No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.) Because if you want to be a true Christian and use His name to get votes you must be prepared to accept the consequences of being a hypocrite. I just read Rick Santorum's book, "It Takes a Family." I liked a lot of his ideas and he is super-catholic. What I can't get, though, is the fact that he is such a freaking bigot against gays. [(Believe this or not) his book swayed me away from anything resembling a support of gay marriage... I am on the right side (pun intended) of the gay-marriage debate and I feel as though I have a moral high ground, and I kind of like it.] I don't mind that he doesn't endorse or even remotely support gays marriage, but his condemnation of gays themselves is what sends me over the edge... a Christian can not sit in judgment of anyone. (Yeah, that's easy for me to say as I write a diatribe about what a crummy Christian someone else is.) Jesus himself was friends with whores, adulterers, all the sinners you can name.

Also, a real tenant with true Christianity is the whole idea of helping those who have so much less than yourself - that is where the minimum wage argument comes in. [Minimum wage is a joke no matter how you look at it - even if Pennsylvania increases the minimum wage to something like 7.20 by 2007 that is a freaking joke - what the U.S. needs is a living wage. Besides most of the people working minimum-wage jobs are teenagers, summer workers, etc... I don't know anyone who works a real job job supporting their family on minimum wage. But all this is beside my real point here -] GWBush and his family are freaking rich rich. Like really really rich. AS Christians it is their duty and obligation to help the poor. I am not talking about a hand-out, more of a hand-up to use a tired cliché. St. Francis was just about as close as anyone will ever come to a second Jesus Christ... he gave away everything he owned and lived a life of poverty serving Jesus Christ. Padre Pio, who lived in Italy until 1968, was also a real Christian. He ate only a small meal every day, he felt that any more than he himself needed should be given to the less fortunate. One time, he had an appetite for Spaghetti, since it had been a long time since he had had it. He asked his friend to bring him some... he ate one bite and was overcome with guilt at being so gluttonous... he asked his friend to take the rest of the food to someone who needed it more than himself. I am not saying that GWBush should live the life of a cloistered monk or give away everything he owns or anything like that, I am saying this guy has piles of money sitting around and he could do a lot of good things with it. All of the people who worked in the ticket windows of Texas Ranger stadium - I bet they would have loved a small pay raise. Use some money to start after-school programs - inner-city rebuilding programs - habitat for humanity - peace corps - americorps - there are a billion things he could do to make the world a better place - not necessarily globally, but locally. Rick Santorum talks a lot about building "social capital," the idea that strong communities lead to better kids and that leads to a better future. Social Capital comes from people doing things together for the common good. I am not suggesting that GWBush (the private citizen) has the power to make social capital happen, but he does have the power $$$ to help start some programs to make it happen.

I would never profess to speak for God, of course, but I am pretty sure that he does not want GWBush or me or you or anyone to be unhappy. I don't think giving away everything I own is the answer. I like stuff. I think maybe God wants me to like my stuff. (I am not being sarcastic here: if He doesn't want us to like having stuff, why would so many things be available - like music and toys and the hunting camp and the Bruce Springsteen concert I am going to on November 8, 2005 (oooohhhh, yeaaaaah.)) But, the fire-and-brimstonites will say that that is the devil tempting you. Well, I will risk it. I am pretty sure that my luxuries (buying a moderate amount of cd's & dvd's, drinking too much coffee, going to 2 concerts a year, eating ben & jerry's every once in a while, and being a member of the camp) won't put me on the path to hell.


I also am not saying that I am a true Christian or that I know any true Christians. The number of TRUE TRUE Christians who ever lived is very small. I am thinking of Jesus himself, a very few saints, and as I mentioned before, Ghandi, who was not, in fact, Christian. (Some saints even, like Augustine and Joan of arc, while they loved God and Jesus very much, acted in anger and violence. Joan of Arc is a saint for acting for God... a suicide bomber is a murder for acting for his god. Joan of Arc was also condemned as a heretic later in her life because she refused to recant her stories of speaking with God. I never understood that - she is revered in battle because she is being led by the Holy Spirit and everyone loves her because she is kicking ass for France, but then when the war is over, she is put on trial for heresy because she allegedly spoke with God. And they would have let her go, too, if she would have said 'I didn't talk to God, I made it all up.' But because she stuck to her guns, they burned her at the stake. I never understood that "if you say you did it, we will lighten your sentence, but if you steadfastly deny you did it, then we will throw you in jail." If I didn't commit the crime and I am going to jail anyway, I might as well say I did it and get out early????? Don't Make No Sense.)

Anyway, my real beef here is with GWBush professing to be a super-Christian when I see so many things he does not being in line with the Christian faith.

Honestly, I do not think that all the things he does that bother me would bother me half as much if I didn't keep hearing about what a great Christian he is.

And don't get me wrong - I am not picking on GWBush - Washington is full of them - Clinton went to Church every Sunday and even prayed with Rev. Jesse Jackson who had a young woman knocked up in an adulterous affair WHILE he was praying for the soul of a man who was having an affair?????? Blind leading the blind. Strom Thurmond - Christian. And last but certainly not least - 1988 Presidential hopeful and leader of many thousands of blind sheep looking for the truth in the dark, 700 Club President and founder of the Christian Coalition - assination-promoter, Pat Robertson.

EPILOGUE
As I said a few times, there have been like 5 true Christians since the dawn of time. I am not one of them. I don't think you are either. And I don't think GWBush is either. Maybe we should all just try to be better people.

william bennet

William Bennet, author of the book "The Book of Virtues," today said: "... if you wanted to reduce crime, you could, if that were your sole purpose, you could abort every black baby in this country and your crime rate would go down."

What in the hell is wrong with this guy?

And to any naysayers who may try to nay say, let me say this: "THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT A COMMENT LIKE THAT CAN BE TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT."

This guy tried to be the moral compass of America.

peace
mph

BRUUUUUCE

Bruce Springsteen tickets go on sale in 49 minutes.

Wish me luck.

If I get tickets, I am going to take my dad with me. I am not asking him if he wants to go, I am telling him that he is going. Period.

I am sitting here nervously watching the clock... my heart is pounding, my palms are sweaty, my fingers are all twitchy. I drank some coffee, but Amy suggested that i should probably drink a beer instead.

I remember the other times i got Bruce tickets:
Sleeping outside the mall with Manny in 1992.
Matthews calling me on the phone with FREE Bruce tickets in 1993.
Getting 4 tickets to a Meadowlands Arean show in 1999.
Going in to work to use the phones with the really really fast redial to call about 350 times to get tickets for the Boston Concert in 1999.
2003 - Jason and Kristin coming over and Jason and I looking on the internet to see what time tickets were going on sale and learning that there were tickets available already for the Giant Stadium concert- and then getting them.
A week later getting tickets for the Lincoln Financial Field concert.

By thunder those are some good memories... the minute i had the tickets in my hand, or at least knew that i was going to see Bruce, a sense of nervous calm fell over me... like all was going to be right with the world. No matter what hardships or problems would befall me in the next few days/weeks/months, there was always a light at the end of the tunnel - the light of Bruce.

I do not mean to tirvialize the religious experiences of pilgrims who travel to far away places in order to see sacred places or objects, but the six times i have seen Bruce were truly holy events that in some way changed my life either momentarly or permanently. After seeing Bruce from the front row and after he slapped my hand and after he looked at me and pointed at me, I felt as though that this truly was a sign that there is a God and that He wants me to be happy. I thought at that very moment when Bruce slapped my hand, that it was the pinnacle of my life. And, up to that moment, it was the apex of my 27 years. (That event has since been surpassed by my wedding day; and both of those events (concert and wedding) have been eclipsed by the birth of Fiona... indeed every single minute with Fiona far exceeds the front row concert.) I understand that Bruce is not a God or a Saint... he is just a man. But like God and religion, he is a constant in my life. When I look back over the last 20 years, the only things that have been there the entire time are: God, My Family, and Bruce. (Of course i now have amy and fiona to add to the list, but i am looking at a broad overview of my life from pre-adolescence to today.)

Anyway, my point is this: Bruce rules and he is awesome and I would love to see him again.

Wish me luck... i will post later.

peace
mph


UPDATE****************************

BAD NEWS, GOOD NEWS

Bad news is that I will not be seeing Bruce Springsteen with my dad. I won't be seeing him with any of my family of friends for that matter, which leads me to my good news.

The good news is that I am going to see Bruce Springsteen on November 8 at the Spectrum. (The spectrum is, of course, where i first saw Bruce 13 years ago.) After failing to get a pair of tickets for the concert, i went back and tried to get one ticket... SUCCESS! I will be flying solo at a bruce springsteen concert. Some might see a person sitting by themselves at a concert and say "What a loser... he must not have any friends, and/or he is soooo increadibly obnoxious that no one would be seen in public with him." Or they might think - "Wow... that guy is super dedicated."

More good news - Because i ordered just one ticket, i got a pretty decent seat - i am in the front row of section 206... therefore i am in the front row behind the seats on the floor. literally 1 foot in front of me is the floor of the Spectrum.

I will add a post later with the songs I want to hear.

peace
mph

Pat Robertson

Pat Robertson, leader of the Christian Coalition, says the United States should assisinate Hugo Chavez.

Where, exactly, in the New Testament does Jesus say we should kill people?

Sinead O'Connor

Sooooo.... Sinead O'Connor has released a reggae album now and says: "The teachings of Rastafari saved my life, and when someone saves your life the least you can do is give back."

So she gives back by recording a reggae album. A reggae album, which I can only assume, will be the worst reggae album of all time.

Let's have a little Sinead O'Connor history lesson, shall we?
She grew up Catholic in Ireland.
August 1990: Refuses to perform a concert in New Jersey because they played the U.S. National Anthem before her performance
October 1992: O'Connor rips up a picture of the Pope on Saturday Night Live.
April 1999: O'Connor takes a vow celibacy.
July 1999: After 3 months, she gives up her vow of celibacy.
"I lasted about three months," O'Connor admitted. "I tried. No thanks."
November 1999: O'Connor becomes a priestess of the Latin Tridentine Church, a maverick Catholic splinter creed. She takes the name Mother Bernadette Mary.
2000: Declares herself a lesbian.
2001: Marries a man.
2003: Announces her retirement from music.
September 2004: Calls for National Delousing Day in Ireland.
2005: Becomes a Rastafarian and records a reggae album.

Okay, we have the facts in front of us.

One word comes to mind: Hypocrite.

Item 1: Refuses to perform a concert in New Jersey because they played the U.S. National Anthem before her performance, something they do before every performance at the venue. O’Connor had an intense hatred for the United States for years that I never fully understood. Here is the one thing I do know: She sold a lot of records and played a lot of concerts here. So while she had a general disdain for the U.S. she didn’t have any moral dilemmas about taking so much American money back to Ireland with her.

Item 2: October 2,1992: O'Connor rips up a picture of the Pope on Saturday Night Live. Of course, a few years later, she begged the Pope to forgive her. Way to stick to your guns, Sinead. You are a true rebel. Make a big bad bold statement when everyone is watching, but then cry for mercy when you realize the repercussions of your actions is the fact that you enraged the entire Christian community.

October 16, 1992: A mere 2 weeks after her SNL performance O’Connor returns to the US to sing at a Bob Dylan Tribute concert. She is booed of the stage and she cries and cries like a little baby. Way to make a statement, Sinead… you can dish it out to a frail old man who is half-way around the world, but when it comes back to bite you in the ass, you cry like a little bitch.

Item 3: Vow of Celibacy/Repeal of vow of celibacy: Again, you want to make a big bold statement that is going to shock the world: I AM CELIBATE. Like the fact that you aren’t having sex is going to change anyone’s life. You did for three months what literally hundreds of thousands of Priests, Nuns, Christian Monks, Buddhist Monks, and Hindu Monks do for their entire lives. If you want to emulate a monk and make a statement that people might listen to and which will truly make a difference in the world, then I suggest you set yourself on fire. Truly your actions will make people sit up and listen and the world will, undoubtedly, be a better place for your effort.

Also… celibate for 3 months? Three freaking months??? Give me a break. Ask any average Generation X loser, three months is nothing. And I’m not talking about actual sex here… I am talking about months and months and months without so much as kissing or hooking up at a party or even going on a single date. Three months… you freaking amateur.

I wonder who it was she slept with after her grueling 3 months… I can only assume he is blind.

Item 4: November 1999: O'Connor becomes a priestess of the Latin Tridentine Church, a maverick Catholic splinter creed. She takes the name Mother Bernadette Mary.
I remember hearing this and thinking… oh yeah, this will last. Ha! What a joke. To become a Catholic Priest after all the things she said about the Catholic Church is an insult. And I would certainly like to meet the bozo who ordained her. Knowing her track record of flip-floppery, did you think she would actually stick to your zany version of Catholicism?

Item 5: 2000/2001: Declares herself a lesbian/Marries a man. I gotta say I saw this one coming. Another bold statement, another backslide.

Item 6: 2003: Announces her retirement from music. The one bold statement that I wished she would actually stick to.

Item 7: September 2004: Calls for National Delousing Day in Ireland. Damn, this shit is hilarious. Not only does she call for National Delousing Day in Ireland, but when the Irish press rips into her for being so wacky, she takes out a full page ad in the papers to defend herself. An ad in which she says “"If ye wrote about Bono like you wrote about me, he’d kick your asses.’’ Riiiiiiiight. You compare yourself to Bono. Bono is trying to end AIDS and Third-World Debt. AIDS is the number-one killer in Africa. Head lice is a minor inconvenience. AIDS is a problem that is going to take decades of diligent work to curb. Lice can be cured with RID shampoo in a matter of a week. Bono talks in front of the United Nations and to the leaders of the most powerful nations of the world. You talk to…well, you talk to the press when you have some big bad bold statement to make.

Item 7: Despite her announcement in 2003 that she is retiring from music, O’Connor records an album, a reggae album no less. I know very very little about reggae music and the Rastafarian religion. Almost all I know about came from an article in Rolling Stone about Bob Marley. Here is what I do know: Rastafari is a religion that rose from the impoverished ghettos of Jamaica by ex-slaves. One of the teachings of Rastafarian religion is that its members do not cut their hair and allow to naturally grow into dreadlocks. Marijuana is a sacrament.
Is Sinead O’Connor an impoverished ex-slave who lives in the ghettos?
And is the famed chrome-dome going to grow dreadlocks? OF COURSE NOT!!!! She’s only doing this Rasta thing for the publicity and to get her name in the news again… she’s not really a Rastafari. Here is my prediction: 2 years from now, Sinead makes a bold statement about the evils of marijuana, perhaps rip up a picture of Ras Tafari and insult all the real Rastafarians.

2007: Sinead O’Connor declares herself a devout Jew. And declares herself the first Female Rabbi.
2009: Sinead O’Connor takes a shit on the Wailing Wall to vindicate all the massacred fish that lost their lives when Moses split the red sea.

June 26, 2011: Sinead O’Connor changes her name to an unpronounceable symbol.
June 27, 2011: Sinead O’Connor realizes that that has been done already and changes her name back to Sinead O’Connor.

2012: Sinead O’Connor converts to Buddhism, declares herself the 15th Dalai Lama stating that clearly she is the chosen one considering that Buddhists shave their heads and her head is shaved. She is quoted in the news as saying, “Well, duh? You do the math; obviously I am the chosen one… I look just like they do
2013: Leaves Buddhism citing the fact that “Those people just don’t appreciate a good hamburger.”

All the while she is making all her changes, she continues to record truly awful music. Awful, horrible, tragic music that reached it’s agonizing crescendo with her 2010 album, “It ain’t easy being Greek,” an album of parodies of Sesame Street songs. The album is 12 songs filled with negative racial stereotypes. “The album is a juxtaposition of the innocence of childhood with the tragedies of racism,” O’Connor said, “If ye opened your wee little minds a tiny crack ye could see that ‘Drunken Mickey’ [set to the tune of ‘Rubber Ducky’] isn’t about a man on a bender… it’s about how the whole world views the Irish people. When I sing the lines “Drunken Mickey, loves his beer… drinking whisky, he has no fear…he never brushes his teeth… and he eats potatoes all the time,” I’m not making fun, I’m calling attention to the plight of the… the plight of the…well, it’s not really a plight, it’s more of a call to arms for the… uh… well, maybe more of a wake up call that… we need to… uh… stop being so hurtful. Yeah, that’s it!! We need to stop being so hurtful.”

Sometime in the distant future: Sinead O’Connor dies a very very lonely death and, per the detailed instructions in her will, asks all the major religions that she has spit on over the years to grant her forgiveness.

Pay Raises and Whatnot

So the Pennsylvania State Legislature voted themselves a 16% pay raise and, of course, people all across the commonwealth are pissed off.

The people who make the laws of this state deserve a pay raise every once in a while, don't you think?

Everyone want a pay raise every once in a while don't they? Why then, if everyone feels as though they deserve a pay raise, do they feel as though the legislators do not deserve a pay raise? Are people pissed because they feel like it is coming out of their pocket because it is taxes that pay for the pay raise?

This is the first pay raise in 10 years. In 1995, they voted to give themselves 70,000. Inflation in the past 10 years has far exceeded what what the legislators have given themselves as a pay raise. According to westegg.com, 70,000 in 1995 is the same as 87091.88 in 2005. So did the legislators give themselves a pay raise or have the been taking a gigantic pay cut every year for the past ten years?

Let's put this into some real perspective now: The Pennsylvania State Legislature is comprised of 250 people. 250 X $81,000 = $20,231,000. The total budget for the state of Pennsylvania is $24,300,000,000. The salary for the legislators is less than one-half of one-half of one-half of one-percent of the total budget. FURTHERMORE: the the difference between this year's salary and last year's salary comprises less than one-sixty-fourth of one-percent of the total budget. That is 0.01028%.

I know what you are thinking: Don't bore me with numbers. Give me something tangible to work with here.

Okay, here is something tangible: The entire Pennsylvania Legislature will earn $20,231,000 this year. The Pirates payroll is $38,133,000, the Sixers payroll is $63,757,853, the Steelers payroll is $77,955,021, the Phillies payroll is $95,337,908, and the Eagles payroll is $104,977,331. The Pirates, Phillies, and Sixers all suck. The Steelers are good, but can't seem to make it past the first round or two of the playoffs, and the Eagles just can pull the trigger when it comes to actually getting to, and then winning the Super Bowl.

Let's put some more perspective on it, shall we: The entire legislative body of Pennsylvania will have earned $7,460,667 LESS than the state's two highest paid athletes (Allen Iverson - $14,625,000 for the 2004-2005 season, and Jim Thome - $13,166,667 for the 2005 season).

The naysayers will say: But the legislators' salary comes out of MY taxes. My taxes don't pay for the sports teams' salaries.

You're right, our taxes don't pay for the sports teams, but we do pay, and I do mean WE because almost everyone I know owns at least one article of clothing or other piece of paraphanelia from at least one Pennsylvania Sports team. I can complain and complain until I am blue in the face that Allen Iverson gets paid way to much for what he does, but the other side of that coin is the fact that I own two Iverson jerseys, four Iverson bobbleheads, and an Iverson action figure, and have (over the past 4 years) bought 4 pair of Iverson sneakers. (In my defense: one pair was on sale, and two pair, the Iverson Questions, are my favorite type of sneakers ever. If they continued to make them, I would continue to buy them. Also in my defense, the three of the 4 bobbleheads were a gift from Christo.)

So when I hear some idiot at the convience store who is wearing a Phillies hat and has a Eagles bumper sticker on his car complaining about the pay raise of "those greedy bastards in Harrisburg" I'd like to ask him if he'd like to have his pay frozen for the next ten years. Whatever you make this year... and I will even throw in bonus and benefits... that is what you will get each and every year for the next ten years. THEN in July of 2015, when you are flat broke because you can't afford anything because you are so far behind the curve of inflation because the buying power of your salary has been weakened by 10 years of the steadily rising prices of food and gas and services and cars and movies and college and taxes and beer and basic necessities, when you ask for a 16% increase in your pay, then I am going to call you a greedy bastard for asking soooo much of a raise.

I think the legislature needs to enact a law where they get a pay raise every year, that way they don't have to deal with the crap of voting a pay raise for themselves. If they would get a 2 or 3 % cost-of-living increase each year, then they would never have to worry about idiots questioning their income.

Throughout the history of our nation, the people who have been elected have had the difficult task of paying themselves what they feel they are worth. And they have had to give themselves pay raises. If they never gave themselves pay raises, they would all be working for free. Like volunteers. Question: do you want a group of volunteers running the state government? I want volunteers working at the library and meals on wheels and at charity events and for scout troops. I don't want them running our government.

peace,
mph

That was no BIG SNOW, meerly a Blizzard.

I watched ABC's new reality series "Brat Camp" last night. The kids had to hike 10 miles through the desert and it was snowing.

The voice-over narrator person kept refering to the fact that the kids were walking through a "blizzard." He must have said it 5 times. Blizzard. Blizzard. Blizzard. After hiking 3 miles it looked like there was about 1 inch of snow on the ground, and after 5 miles, maybe an inch and a half. At one point, it looked like it had stopped snowing all together, (but i do realize that sometimes when filming precipitation doesn't really show on tv, so i won't argue that point) all i am saying is that it wasn't snowing all that hard.

HERE IS MY CONCERN: To truly have a blizzard, there has to be sustained winds of 35 mph for over 3 hours and the visibility has to be less than one-quarter of a mile. In watching the television program the snow was falling straight down... therefore, i don't think the wind was over 35... not even gusts of 35.

HERE IS MY REAL CONCERN: Crap like this only leads to the further dumbification of America. when we start refering to snow flurries as blizzards, it lessens the impact of a true blizzard. And it is going to cause our meterologists to make up new names for actual blizzards (or tornados or hurricanes, etc etc.) I am going to call this the Burger King Effect: there used to be Small, Medium, and Large sodey-pops. Then they got rid of Small and just had Medium, Large, and Extra-large. The smallest size is Medium and the medium size is Large. The trend line on something like that leads us to believe that in the future there will only be Extra-large, Extra-extra-large, and Extra-extra-extra-large.

By this hypothesis, a snow storm will be a Blizzard and i suppose a bilzzard will be a SuperBlizzard? Or will there be a new name for this natural event. My suggestions are as follows: "King Snowstorm" or "Annie, Get your Milk and Bread Storm."
Or, in an attempt to help foster the dumbification of America, I offer this gross oversimplifications of the event: "Big Snow."

Another concern: Changing definitions will water-down history. In the late 1870's a true blizzard of mamouth proportions killed millions of cattle in the midwest. Today's young scholars, thinking that a blizzard is hardly enough snow to even shut down school for the day, will be perplexed as to how cattle froze to death in a dusting of snow.

Here is what i really should do: watch zero tv.

yeah, right, like that would ever happen.

peace.

Charlie & the Chocolate Factory

My Mom and Dad, along with Molly and Seamus, came to babysit Fiona so Amy and I went to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory yesterday and we really liked it. Johnny Depp is, by far and wide, the best actor to come from 21 Jump Street. He is also the best actor from our generation. who can come close?

typical to a tim burton film - the movie was visually pleasing. my only gripe comes with some of the dialog was a wee bit contrived.... that crap drives me nuts. There were a few lines that were hilarious and a few sight gags that made me laugh out loud.

overall - i loved the movie. i will probably get it on dvd when it comes out.

after the movie, amy and i went to Lancaster Brewing Company . I decided to do what i usually do at a place that brews it's own beer: i get a sampler. The little menu thing on the table had 5 beers and so i thought the sampler would have 5 little glasses of beer. Well well well... i was a little off base. LBC has 12 beers, of which i recieved a 5-oz sample of each. Yeeaaahhh.... all of a sudden there is 60 ounces of beer in front of me. Michael P. Holland from 10 years ago would have reveled in teh prospect of 60 ounces of beer to drink in short order. However the current version of Michael P. Holland (or MPH v33.0) looks at 60 ounces of beer and thinks: "ugh.... i don't want to get drunk in the middle of the day... i have stuff to do.... and i will be hung over tomorrow... and i will have a headache... and and and.... I JUST DON'T HAVE THE TIME TO BE DRUNK RIGHT NOW!!!" Anyway - i drank about half of the beer - most of which i found to be very tasty. Amy drove home, i was a little headachy, it rained so i didn't have to do any work at home, anyway. We rented the Will Smith/Doug Heffernan movie Hitch which was fun to watch, but was very very predictable and outlandishly contrived, but enjoyable none the less.

went to bed around 11:15 and slept until 10:00 sunday. all in all, saturday was a really really good day.