another great comic from Michael P. Holland

State Quarters or Mike's Lamest Blog Topic to Date

I am not collecting the US Mint's state quarters, but I do enjoy seeing the designs when they come out. And for a long time I thought Vermont's design was the best because of it's simplicity. Other quarters have come along that are neat, but none matches Vermont.

Because I am obsessed with ranking things, I will here rank the five worst quarters and then rank the five best quarters.

Five Worst Quarters:

5. ALABAMA

Alabama has a picture of Helen Keller on theirs. Alabama became a state in 1819 and in the 184 years between their statehood and the release of thier quarter the only decent thing to come from their state was a deaf, blind woman?? I have nothing against Helen Keller, but is she the only thing Alabama has to be proud of? Well, maybe I just answered my own question.

4. NEW HAMPSHIRE

New Hampshire has a picture of the old man of the mountain natural rock formation. Natural rock formations that look like things never really do it for me because it is just a fluke. Now if it was a natural rock formation that actually looked like someone, like Abe Lincoln or Stevie Wonder, then that would be cool, but just a random outcropping of rock that looks kind of like a man's face - eh, not that impressive. Further more, it looks more like the rock 'em-sock 'em robots guy than a real person. Incidentally, this rock formation was destroyed in a rock slide in May of 2003. To their credit, New Hampshire did put their state logo, which is arguable the best state logo ever, on their coin: Live Free of Die. That sounds like it should be the name of a Metallica song, but in reality, it is the name of a song by Sun Volt.

3. FLORIDA

Florida went with a "three iconic images from our state" approach, but left off the most iconic images of thier state: Mickey Mouse, Retirees, and Cocaine Smugglers.







2. TEXAS

An out line of the state with a star? This was the best you could come up with. For all of Texas' "We're the biggest state in the lower 48" and "Don't Mess with Texas" talk, they sure did come up one steaming pile of buffalo dung for their quarter. 159 years of history including, but not limited to: the home of Sam Houston, birthplace of Jack Johnson, Stephen Austin, Buddy Holly, Richard Petty, Willie Nelson, Scott and Janis Joplin, and Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry, home of Bonnie and Clyde, 5-time Super Bowl Champ Dallas Cowboys. And of course, you have THE ALAMO!!!! Only one of the most iconic forts not just in American History, but in the History of all time. You have all that stuff and you go with and you settle on an outline of the state and a star?? If Texans are dumb enough to overlook all that history and put out this crappy quarter, it is easy to see how they the Bush family has been able to stay in power there so long. Yeah, you heard me.


THE WORST QUARTER OF ALL:
OHIO

Ohio has the worst quarter to date. What is so wrong with their quarter? They did not put anything on their quarter that has anything to do with their state. They put the Wright Brother's plane on it. Everyone in the world associates the Wright Brothers with North Carolina, and in fact, North Carolina put the Wright Brother's plane on their quarter a full 2 years before Ohio's quarter was issued. And they put a picture of an astronaut on their coin. Again, when you think of America's space program, you think of Florida where the space ships launch from, and you think of Houston. When there is a snafu occuring, people don't mockingly state "Cleveland, we have a problem," they say "Houston, we have a problem." Furthermore, the even state on their coin that nothing ever happened there, but people who did make things happen were born there. Birthplace of Aviation Pioneers... big freaking deal. The wright brothers and John Glenn were born there. Yeah; Who cares? It doesn't matter where someone is born, it is where they are raised and nurtured that matters. Maybe if Ohio didn't suck so much the Wright Brothers and john Glenn would have stayed.

FIVE BEST QUARTERS

5. WISCONSIN
Wisconsin went with the "Three iconic images from our state" motif and, unlike Florida, I think it works. Here is why: Wisconsin isn't a real flashy and or showy state. They do what they do and they are good at it. They don't rely on a lot of razz-a-matazz like Florida to get the job done. So when you think of Wisconsin, you generally think of cows and cheese, with the obvious exception of the Green Bay Packers. And as much as I like Brett Favre, I really don't think he should be on a coin.




4.TENNESEE


Tennesee really did a great job of simplfying. Much like Wisconsin, one specific thing comes to mind when you thing of Tennesee: music. So they played on that and kept it simple and put out a really nice looking coin. Only thing I would have changed: get rid of the trumpet and add a banjo.

3. CONNECTICUT

No flash for Connecticut, just a picture of a beautiful White Oak which was known as the Charter Oak because that particular tree played an important role in the state's history. The White Oak, incidentally, is connecticut's state tree.

2. SOUTH DAKOTA

South Dakota's quarter is awesome for several reasons. First, there is not a lot that comes to mind when thinking of South Dakota other than Mt. Rushmore. They could have put out a Mt. Rushmore-only quarter and been completly lame, but they decided to add the piece de resistance and put on their coin the coolest bird in the world, the ring-necked pheasant. And because they went with their state icon, Mt. Rushmore, they were able to put a picture of Theodore Roosevelt on their coin. Kudos to you, South Dakota, Teddy Roosevelt and a ring-necked pheasant. Take off Thomas Jefferson and you would have had the best coin ever in the history of mankind.

1. VERMONT


Just a nice looking quarter, wouldn't you say? A crusty old Vermonter tapping a couple of trees on a cold Frebruary morning in the shadow of Camel's Hump. I think it states the simplicity with which a lot of Vermonters live their lives. Again, Vermont didn't need to go with flash and gusto to show the attributs of the state. They didn't put skiiers or images of the naval history of Lake Champlain on their quarter... just a regular fellow tapping his trees to make some syrup. Vermont rules.




That is all for me today.
Take care.

St. Patrick's Day t-shirt

ahoy ahoy.

As you may or may not know, every year Old Navy puts out a St. Patrick's Day t-shirt.

Here you see the t-shirt they put out this year.

I am not a huge fan of Old Navy, but I am a huge fan of St. Patrick and Old Navy sells these cool t-shirts each year for only $5.00. And so I buy one each year.

So last year, a few days before St. Patrick's Day, was was rockin' my Old Navy St. Patrick's Day t-shirt and I went to get my morning coffee.

There is this girl who worked at the coffee shop that I go to who never once said "hello" or "good morning" or "have a good day" to me. She used to be all chatty Cathy with her young, cool-looking young male friends, but not with me. Maybe he never said anything more than "what can i get for you?" and "that's a dollar, forty-eight" to me because I am old and square and have a real job and am married. I don't really care if she doesn't want to have a conversation with me, but a little common courtesy when I am paying way too much for coffee would be nice. "Hi, how are you today?" or "Take it easy," is all I am asking for. All the other people who work there say hello to and exchange pleasantries with me, but not this girl. She always seemed to have this attitude of "I am young and cool and I am only going to talk to young cool people."

So I have established that with the exception of coffee-related queries, she has never said anything to me at all, ever.

So I go walking into the coffee shop with my St. Patrick's day t-shirt on and she is behind the counter and is chatting with some of the aforementioned young, cool friends. I walk up to the counter and ask for a small coffee. She looks at my shirt and says to me "did you know that St. Patrick was actually Roman and not Irish?"

She says it loud enough for her friends to hear and her tone seemed to me to imply that:

1.) She was telling me something that I obviously didn't know.

2.) I was a mindless drone who thinks St. Patrick's day is a made-up holiday fueled by Guinness and is just an excuse to go out and get loaded.

3.) I was into kitschy, holiday-related crap and I should have also been wearing a button that said "Kiss Me I'm Irish."

I looked up at her and considered telling her that I had fairly recently finished reading the second of 2 biographies of St. Patrick. And that I read those "Lives of Saints" books all good Catholic kids get for First Communion and Confirmation. I also considered telling her that he feared that a sin he committed when he was young was so horrible that he would be sent to Hell. I was going to tell her that he once calmed a pack of hungry, barking dogs that threatened to expose him as a runaway slave. I also thought that it might be appropriate to mention that the reason he was so successful in bringing Christianity to Ireland was because he had found a way to integrate Catholic religious ceremonies with the Pagan traditions without compromising the teachings of Jesus or offending the Pagan priests.

I also considered saying "Yes, I actually did know that." But i decided I wanted her and her friends to know what an idiot I thought she was.

So after she said, "Did you know that St. Patrick was actually Roman and not Irish" I said:

"Yeah, no crap." as if to imply that everyone in the whole wide world knew it and that she wasn't actually teaching me anything.

I know that not everyone knows that he was Roman, but that didn't matter.

She always made me feel like she was doing me some gigantic favor by pouring 12 oz of hot liquid into a cup. And she always made me feel like i should feel priviledged that she took the 30 seconds out of her work day to give me her coffee.

And I always really hated the fact that she was the only person who has ever worked there that never once said anything nice to me, but did not hesitate for a second to say "good morning" and "how are you" to the young college-aged people that came in.

And for that matter, it felt really good to kind of say something that had a "why don't you shut the hell up and give me my freaking coffee" feel to it.

But it is not my place to put someone else down mo matter how they may make me feel, so in retrosepct, I feel bad for having said that to her and subsequently feeling good about saying it.

St. Patrick did not become a saint by putting people down, he became a saint by helping people. Therefore I should have instead prayed for her and asked God to help give me the strength to not mind that this person wasn't nice to me.

After the St. Partick's Day t-shirt incident, she went back to never speaking to me at all and a few months later she quit working there.

Crayola

Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street used to show a video of the Crayola factory that was really neat. Everytime I saw that video I thought it would be really cool to go to the factory and see it for real.

Yesterday, Fiona, Amy and I went to the Crayola Factory in Easton, PA. It was a lot of fun. There was a ton of cool stuff to see there and Fiona loved all of it.






Nona with the world's Largest Crayon.

Nona all plumb-tuckered out!!

The only downer on the day: The only place to eat there was a McDonalds. Since it was a Friday in Lent, I was actually looking forward to a Filet o Fish sandwich, but when we got to the counter and asked for one, the lady said to me, "we don't sell fish here." D'oh. I ate half of Amy's french fries, a chewy granola bar, and a gigantic Root Beer.

Fiona Comic

So wise at such a young age!!

ADDENDUM AND APOLOGIES

In my last blog entry, I chronicled all the concerts I have seen with my family. And apparently I forgot a few concerts I have seen with loved ones.

***IN MY DEFENSE: I did say "There is a fairly concise list of the concerts I have been to with family members."

Here are the comments I received:

Mark said: Hello? Rolling Stone in Philly y'all!
Maureen then said: Yeah, what he said!!! You obviously don't remember we were at The Rolling Stones concert at the Vet..also known as your wedding present to us!!! OR our double-date with you & your Mommy!
And then Aunt Louise said: what am I tinsel?Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band in NJ.Did you think that your family does not read your blog?!?I still love you! xo W

Holy Crap I feel bad. I can't remember the last time I ruffled so many feathers in such a short time.

So, just as an update:

I saw The Rolling Stones in Philly not only with my Mommy, but also with Maureen and Mark.

And I saw the Boss in New Jersey not only with my Mommy and Amy, but also with Aunt Louise. AND, Louise and I both failed to remember her graduation gift to me: She took me to see Michael Penn at the Mann Music Center in Philly. Holla that!

Here is a picture of my mom and Louise rockin' with the Boss.

And it had been well documented in Smokin' Dog that Aunt Louise has been very important to my musical development. She got me tickets to see Billy Joel (the first concert I ever went to.) She also got me tickets to see Tin Machine at the Tower (12th row). She took me to see Michael Penn and she got me Bruce Springsteen's autograph. Louise also saw the Rolling Stones when they were only in their 40's. I think she saw Bowie on the Serious Moonlight tour, and I know for a fact that she saw Bruce before I was even a fan.

It should also be noted that while I was at Penn State, my buddies and I had an insatiable thirst for Ballantine Ale. It was somthing that my buddies and I thought was the coolest not only for it's purity, body, and flavor, but also because no one else drank it and no one else seemed to know what it was EXCEPT for old guys... and that was old school and that was super cool. Ballantine became something of a icon for us and to this day it holds a special place in my heart.

I know what you are thinking "Mke, you are handsome and slender, where are you going with this Ballantine line of dialog?" Well, it was my Aunt Louise who introduced us to Ballantine one fateful evening in the fall of 1993.

To surmise: Aunt Louise is the coolest.
Therefore... I offer my heartfelt apologies to Aunt Louise.



Peace.
MPH

Police Part 2

Chris and I did get tickets to see the Police.

The concert is on July 20, so I have 4 months to learn the words to their songs so I can sing along and won't get bored... and so I don't look like a poseur only singing along to the songs off of Synchronicity.

I borrowed The Police's box set, Message in a Box, from Chris which has all of their songs. I put them all on my MP3 player and will rock that exclusively for the next couple of weeks/months.

I wanted to add a few things to the lists from my previous post, stuff that i forgot or didn't mention at the time:

"Bands I am not crazy about that I would like to see in concert" I need to add to that list:
Metallica

"Musicians/Bands I am glad I saw even though I am not crazy about them" I need to add to that list:
Ani DiFranco

And something intersting about all the great live music events i have seen at Hershey Park Stadium: Every concert I have ever been to there has been with family members. I have never seen a concert there with a friend. AND, the only concert I have been to with my dad was at Hershey Park Stadium... That was the Bob Dylan concert where it rained the whole show and Bob skipped a verse in Tangled Up In Blue. BUT he did sing Hard Rain Gonna Fall which was pretty neat.

Concerts I have seen with Mom:
Bob Dylan in Hershey
Rolling Stones in Philly
Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band in New Jersey
Rolling Stones in Hershey

Concerts I have seen with Chris:
Dread Zeppelin in Philly
Red Hot Chili Peppers/Foo Fighters in Hershey

Concerts I have seen with Maureen:
Stone Temple Pilots/Flaming Lips/Butthole Surfers in Philly
Bruce Springsteen and the Seeger Sessions Band in New Jersey

Concerts I have seen with Amy
4 Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band concerts (E. Rutherford N.J., Boston, E. Rutherford again, Philly)
Bruce Springsteen and the Seeger Sessions Band in Camden N.J.
Red Hot Chili Peppers/Fishbone in Montreal
2 Joan Baez concerts in Burlington
2 Ani DiFranco concerts in Burlington
Bob Dylan in Lake Placid
Sun Volt in Burlington
Tenacious D in Burlington
James McMurtry in Burlington
The Zambonis in Burlington
Shawn Colvin in Burlington
Karan Casey in Burlington

Concert I have seen with Dad:
Bob Dylan in Hershey

Concert I saw with Mark:
Bruce Springsteen and the Seeger Sessions Band in Camden N.J.

Concert I saw with Seamus:
Bruce Springsteen and the Seeger Sessions Band in Camden N.J.

There is a fairly concise list of the concerts I have been to with family members.

There will be a test on this at a later date.

Peace,
MPH

Funny Nona Comic