this and that and 3 crappy comix

the work year is over and i managed to do something i have never done before - i actually carried over some vacation time from this year to next year. Somehow I managed to not use 1 hour of vacation and will have the pleasure of 3 weeks and one hour of vacation time in 2007, instead of merely 3 weeks.

Andrew Patrick now has his own blog and it is a lot of fun to look at. if you look closely, you may see some of the familiar faces you see here at scrapple dog.

Christmas Day at Mom & Dad's house was awesome. Instead of giving a detailed description of everything that went on, i have decided to just throw out the following words:

Cheesy Potatoes.

Tigger Fishing Rod.

Le Cruset Pot

Swiss Army Watch.

Dad's Home-made Hot Sauce.

The Eagles Rule.

The new beck cd rules. It is reminiscent of Odelay and I find it more enjoyable than Midnight Vultures and Guero (i never really was all that nuts for Guero). I think Mutations and Odelay are still his best two "popular" albums. And One Foot In The Grave is still his best album. Stereopathetic SoulMaure still has the best name but is not his best album.

And to anyone who confuses Beck with Jeff Beck, let me say this - Jeff Beck sucks. I don't care if he was in the Yardbirds... the only decent member of the Yardbirds was Jimmy Page... you all know that Eric Clapton never did anything original - NEVER. He made millions ripping off the poor black musicians of the deep-south and then ripped off George Harrison. Screw Clapton.

We hung out with the Zecchinellis and Steiners on Dec 26 and a good time was had by all. It was great to see Jason and Fiona was super excited about seeing Kellen.

somthing funny that was put into the Michael P. Holland lexicon a few days before Christmas was saying "nothing says 'blessed be the Christ child like ..... "

Examples: Amy said "I'm hungry." Then I said "How about Burger King... Nothing says 'blessed be the Christ child like a Bacon-Double Cheeseburger."

or: Mom Z says: "What's on tv?" And I say "Nothing says 'blessed be the Christ Child' like a little Law and Order:SVU."

Also, you don't actually have to say it out loud... you can just think it. Like when I went outside to have a ciggie on Christmas Eve. I thought, "Nothing says "blessed be the Christ Child' like a nice Camel Light."

now: 3 unfunny comix. All three are TRUE STORIES!!

Zonenbrilla involves a young woman i work with.

Teamwork involves two women i work with and Blythe's response to their 'comversaion.'

Beach is just not funny.

this comic is also reminiscent of when Dritsas came to visit me in Vermont and was wearing a black leather jacket and i asked him if he got it at Donny Brosco's Garage Sale.

all right.

peace. see you in 2007.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Merry Christmas!!

So far we are having a wonderful Christmas Day. We got up around 7:00 and went downstairs to see what Santa Claus brought for Fiona.

Fiona was very happy with all the loot under the tree.

Santa brought her an Easel and art supplies.

He brought her an Easy-bake oven, cooking utensils, an apron and a chef's hat.

He brought her a train.

Santa brought Fiona a backpack.

Santa brought her a Greetings From Asbury Park t-shirt.

And he he got her a sled... now if it would only snow a little.

I guess I avoided the naughty list, because I received a few gifts myself. Fiona gave me the Onion's Page a day calendar, Amy gave me the new Beck CD. And Mom Z gave me the most awesome Christmas any son-in-law could possibly ask for: A bottle of Woodford Reserve Whisky!

Santa was very good to Amy also, she got a Yoga DVD and she got Amy Sedaris' "I like you: Hospitality under the Influence" book.

Mom Z also got a visit from St. Nick. He brought her a crucifix for her new home.

We had a wonderful Christmas Morning and we are looking forward to spending the rest of the day relaxing with our family in Reading, Celebrating Aunt Louise's birthday, and of course, watching the Eagles play the Cowboys. I do hope that the icing on the Christmas Cake is a big win for the Eagles.

Peace be with you all.

Merry Christmas!

Rudolph

Last week, I watched Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. I remembered why I hate it so much. The only good thing is that Burl Ives sings in it, but even that is countered by the fact that he holds a banjo, but there is no banjo music. Whatever.

Any way, I decided to re-release the interview I did with Rudolph a few years ago.

This was originally published in Smokin' Dog, Volume III, Issue 5, November/December 2000. I hope you enjoy.

INTERVIEW WITH RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER
Last week, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer came over for dinner and to be interviewed.
During the interview I found out some thingst that I later wished I hadn't (he's been to the Betty Ford Clinic several times, he's thrice divorced) and some things which, quite frankly, shocked the hell out of me (graduated Suma Cul Laude from Yale and he once had his name legally changed to Rudolph X). All in all it as been a roller-caster ride for one of Christmas' most popular icons.
So here it is, the interview with the Red-Nosed Reindeer. (I have taken te liberty to remove all expletives.)

SMOKIN' DOG: There has been a lot of specuation about yor childhood not being a happy one. Tell me about it.
RUDOLPH: Well, it wasn't a happy one at all. My parents, especially my father, were very ashamed of me. He made that abundantly clear. He would cover my nose with coal so that people couldn't see it. I was his only son and he was ashamed of me. And then he'd yell at my mother telling her it was her fault... because she drank when she was pregnant with me. But that was his fault as well. he was a speed freak. He was on coke all the time, I mean, he was the lead puller and all.

SD: How about the infamous flying tryouts?
R: Well it's all right there on tape. I flew further than anyone else, and I got cut because of my nose. I mean, what the hell is up with that? My nose has nothing to do with my ability to fly.

SD: But you did lead the sleigh later. Was that a bittersweet victory?
R: Hell no. The only reason I lead the sleigh was because they could exploit my freakish quality. I mean do y ou honestly think they would have let me lead the sleigh if I didn't have the nose? And when I did lead the sleigh, you hear my dad singing a different tune. He was all "That's my son!! That's MY son!" Two days earlier he verbally abused me to the point that I decided to run away and now he's proud of me?

SD: Why did you run away?
R: Well, I got to the point where i just wanted to kill. I mean I wanted them dead, but I am not a violent person, so I removed myself from the situation.

SD: Ket's talke about Santa a little. Do you have issues with him?
R: Yes I do. For starters, he doesn't pay his people what they are worth. He works them elves ten hours a day six days a week at starvation wages. He owns the company store and all the houses that the elves are required to rent. All the wages he pays them, he takes right back. And if they miss one day of work, he docks them a week's wages... Santa is a very greedy bastard, he's aobut one thing and one thing only: money, money, and more money. And that guy is worth well over $100 Billion. He's got that sweet deal with Coca-Cola, he's got deals with every single company, and he's got a contract with every mall and department store in America.

SD: But he does good works, right? I mean he gives to the rich and poor alike.
R: Yeah, but it's all about image. Image is everything to that jerk. He ain't out there giving the poor kids the PlayStations and the rich kids the misfit toys. He gives the poor kids the crappy toys.

SD: How about the working conditions?
R: Horrible. I tried like mad to unionize that place, but I couldn't get enough people to stand together. I mean, a strike on December 24 would have shut that place down, man. Do you know how much potential for power there is for the elves on Christmas Eve? They could cancel Christmas if they wanted, but any time there is a Union talk around the shop, Santa comes in and throws them a couple of bucks and that quells the uprising...And it's even worse for the Reindeer. We're expendable. There are literally tens of thousands of deer out there...The reindeer fly around the world, the entire world, in one night. Santa goes home and has a nice meal and goes to sleep for ten days in his huge bed. Do you know what the reindeer get? An apple, some carrots and wool blanket in the stable. Do you know how incredibly cold it gets at the North Pole in the middle of winter?

There isn't anything eles to really report. He went off about the pressures of being the only reindeer in the world with his own song adn how the other deer can't handle the pressure, etc. etc. That part of the interview was so laden with foul language that I couldn't even put it into a coherent sentence.

He did have one parting thing to say: He does hope that everone in the world has a very Merry Christmas.

Nona's Big Girl Bed

God Bless Ikea.

Amy and My Mom went down to Ikea a few weeks ago and picked up a bed for Fiona. Today Fiona and I put it together. She loves it already.

Fiona showing WHY she needed a big girl bed!

Me trying got figure out which 2 of the 837 pieces I needed to put together first.

Nona helps me put some of the bolts in place.



Nona in her New Big Girl Bed!!

After putting her bed together, Fiona and I went up to town to celebrate with some pizza at Nino's, we went to Lititz Springs Park to feed the ducks, stopped by the Lititz Welcome Center to see if there was a Christmas Parade (there is not), we stopped by the Manger Scene to look at Baby Jesus, we got some Chocolate Milk, and then we went to Bombergers to get something to fix our leaky pipe.

Then we came home and Fiona went right up to her bedroom to lay in her big girl bed... She seems too excited about it to sleep though. She is down there right now climbing in her bed then climbing out of her bed. Climbing in, climbing out.

It makes me happy that she is so excited about her new bed.

Before it was even close to being done, she started putting stickers on it. She is already personalizing it and I am thinking it will only be a matter of time before it is completely covered in stars, hearts, bird, and hello kitty stickers.

Peace,

MPH

Trip to the Hunting Camp

Veteran's Day weekend is my favorite weekend of the year.

I go up to the cabin with Dad and Larry and we hunt grouse. My dad and Larry are both Veterans of the Armed Services, so I am glad to be able to spend the weekend with them.

I rode up to the camp with Larry on Thursday evening. We stopped at Mom Zimmerman's house to pick up a recliner for the camp. Amy's Mom no longer needs the chair, and it is still in great condition, so it will make an excellent addition to the camp.

Dad tests out the new recliner

We got to the camp around 10. Dad was already there with jackdog.

On Friday morning, we got up and hunted. Jackdog sniffed out a few grouse and the tried to make a break for it. I shot one, but the other three got away. I thought I shot another one, but apparently I did not. As the second bird was flying I was already hoping to revel in the glory of having two dead birds in the air without Dad and/or Larry even taking a shot. After I shot the bird, Jackdog sprung into action. He ran directly to the bird, pinned it down, picked it up and retrieved it to Dad and handed it to him. It was really neat to see.
Me and Jackdog with my first grouse.

We then hunted on Larry's property along the old logging road. Jackdog flushed one bird that Dad shot. Dad and I both saw the bird on the ground and Jack went right to the bird but it was no where to be found. Dad and I both swear we saw Jackdog pick up the bird, but apparently we were mistaken. We looked and looked and could not find that bird.

We then hunted down along where the old electric fence was. We always get birds out there. One took off but none of us got a shot at it. We had a few more flushes, a few more shots, but no more dead birds.

After hunting, Dad went down to Long Pond to try to catch Mr. Big, the gigantic brown trout that has been taunting him for 3 years. On Thursday, dad got him to take the bait, but was unable to set the hook and Mr. Big swam away. Friday was no better. Dad fished for about an hour and a half with no bites at all. That fish is the bane of my old man's existence.

On Friday evening we had some stew I made and we watched Patton on AMC.

Saturday was dreary, so we got out early to hunt Larry's property again. As we walked the old logging road it started to really pour. We had no luck. So we went back down to the electric fence and hunted that. One bird took off, Larry fired and got it. Again, Jackdog went to the bird, pinned it down and retrieved it.

We got back to the camp, made a fire and relaxed for the evening.

I had brought a bottle of Ridgemont Reserve 1792 Bourbon and we put a hurting on it and on a bottle of Woodford Reserve that Larry had brought with.

It was a great weekend and I am already looking forward to next year's trip.

Acorns - horrible horrible acorns

The oak tree out back has blessed us this year with literally thousands of acorns.

Today i raked almost all of the acorns out into the street. It was a gignatic pain in the neck.

I also got 5 blisters from it.

I was thinking of making an acorn pie for thanksgiving, but have been unable to come up with a recipe for it. i did, however, find a bunch of recipes for other acorn stuff. Like acorn bread, acorn stew, and acron griddle cakes. The more i think about it, the more i think it is a crappy idea.

when i oribinally went to google to search for recipes for acorn pie, it came back with a ton of sites. However all of the recipes for "acorn pie" were actually for pecan pies. ??? that don't make no sense. I have never heard of a pecan pie called an acorn pie.

My sister makes the best pecan pies. I was never a big fan of pecans, other than when my mom would make Pecan Puffs at Christmastime, but two or three years ago, Reen brought a couple of pecan pies for thanksgiving and they were delicious.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and here is why: It has all of the best parts of Christmas - the family togetherness and the gigantic meal - without all of the expense of buying gifts. There is no pressure with Thanksgiving - I don't have to worry about someone not liking what I got them. All i have to do is show up with a Pumpkin Pie, hang out with my family, listen to dad and snook talk about their folks, listen to Christo and Maureen make fun of me, and eat a ton of food. Then i get to sleep on the couch and watch football. What on earth could possibly be better??? oh yeah... and I have off from work the next day.

peace.

Trip to Massachusetts

As you all probably know, My sister had a baby 3 weeks ago, Andrew Patrick. This past weekend was Andrew's baptism. Amy is Andrew's Godmother. Saturday morning at 4:23 Amy, Fiona, Dad and I loaded up the Trailblazer and got on the road. It was windy and rainy the entire drive. It was possibly the 7 worst hours of driving i have ever done. But we arrived all safe and sound in Mashpee, MA and were very happy to see Maureen, Mark, Mom, and of course, Andrew Patrick.

About an hour after we arrived, Christo, Becky, Sara & Samantha arrived. We then spent the afternoon hanging out with Maureen, Mark and Andrew. It was very nice.

For Dinner, we went to Mark's parent's house. Amy and Fiona and I stayed at the Osler's house overnight. On Sudnay morning, we went to the church for the batism service which was very nice. (The baby that Rev. Showalter is holding in the picture on the website is not Andrew.)

We then adjoined to Mark & Maureen's house for lunch. Mark grilled some home-made sausage. He had pepper sausage and mole sausage. (It is pronounced moe-lay and has nothing to do with the annoying critters that make tunnels in your backyard.)

We then watched the Eagles get demolished by the Jaguars. And then watche the New England Revolution beat the Chicago Fire to advance in the MLS playoffs.

Then the real fun began. At around 7:30, Chris called Taylor to see how her weekend was. She said that Mom & Dad's neighbor, Joe, left a message on Chris' answering machine saying that there was a loud noise coming from Mom & Dad's basement. We tried to figure out how to get Joe into my folk's house to figure out what the problem is. To no avail. so the next thing you know, it is 8:23 and Amy, Fiona, Mom, Dad and I are loaded up in the Trailblazer heading south. Needless to say we were not planning on driving home to pennsylvania at 8:30, and I can not for the life of me remember the last time I stayed up past 3:00 a.m., let alone driving at that hour. ALSO, let me remind you that sunday morning, we turned the clocks back, so not only was it 3:48 when we got home, but my mind and body was thinking it was 4:48. But we got home just fine. Fiona and Amy slept from Mashpee to Maiden Creek, and Mom and Dad stayed up with me the entire ride. I was glad that Amy slept because I knew that if I needed her to drive, it would be best if she had some rest. I was concerned that we would get to new Jersey and I would start getting really sleepy and I might need Amy to step in and take over.

We stoped once for gas and some Newman's Own coffee at McDonalds. The coffee kept me wide awake from Connecticut straight through to M0m & Dad's house. God Bless Paul Newman... is there anything he can't do?? Anyway, we got home and everything was fine... the sump pump was stuck in the "on" position. About 10 minutes after we realized everything was okay, i crashed out and went to sleep. I got up this morning and had some dunkin donuts, relaxed and then cam home to Lititz.

What an exciting weekend. We had a great time seeing everyone. I thought it was great that Andrew Patrick got to see all of his grand parents, aunts, uncles, and all but one of his cousins.

Maureen and Mark look really good and Andrew is just a little angel. Throughout the entire church service, and during the baptism itself, he did not make a peep.

Fun fact: He was the 30th baby to wear the McDevitt family baptismal gown. The baptismal gown is over 60 years old.

I am looking forward to our next trip to Massachusetts... I only hope that the drive to and fro are considerably less memorable.

It's CIDER TIME!!!

On a beautiful crisp fall day there is nothing more fun than pressing out some apple cider.

Larry called me on Thursday to tell me that he had picked a bunch of apples to make some cider, so on Sunday, Fiona and I met up with Dad up at Larry's house to make apple cider.

We got to Larry's house around 10:00 and 4 hours later we had 6 and a half gallons of fresh apple cider.

Fiona helped every step of the way. She would take the apples out of the wheelbarrow and into the kitchen where they were washed and cut by Larry. Then the quartered apples were brought out to the press. Fiona helped put the apples into the grinding mechanism and tried to turn the grinding wheel. (She usually got help from her dad or from her Pop-pop. As we were pressing the cider, she was very instrumental as the qualty-control department. Larry gave her a little plastic cup that she must have filled 4 or 5 times to drink the freshest possible apple cider there is. After we would press a couple of pecks, we would put the pomus into a bucket that Fiona helped carry to the compost pile.

She also helped as we bottled the cider holding the strainer so that no apple chunks or seeds got into the bottles.

It was a perfect day. Spending time with Fiona, Dad, and Larry making apple cider.

Here are some photos from the day.

peace






oh yeah, after the cider operations, we went back to mom & dad's house and watched the Eagles beat up the Cowboys. Awesome.

Reen and Mark and Andrew

Congratulations to Maureen and Mark on the birth of their son, Andrew.

I love Maureen and I love Mark.

I know that their family love will only grow with the birth of Andrew.

I love the name Andrew. There are about 30 Saints named Andrew, so I will focus only on St. Andrew the Apostle. He is the patron saint of fishermen. I think that is very appropriate considering Little Andrew will probably be a fisherman if he follows in his father and grandfathers' footsteps.

BRUUUUUUCE!!!!!!!!

Today, as you all know, is Bruce Springsteen's Birthday.

I will spare you the "why Bruce is so important to me" speech, i think everyone who reads this blog has already heard that little speech and also, i don't think many of the care. Therefore, I will go straight to Listville.

Number of Times I have seen Bruce with a state-by-state breakdown
9 - 4 times in New Jersey, 3 times in Pennsylvania, once in Massachusetts and once in New York.

Ranking of the concerts by best OVERALL BRUCE experience
1. 8-27-99 - Boston Mass (Front Row Show)
2. 11-8-05 - Philadelphia, PA - Bruce Solo on the Devils and Dust Tour
3. 8-9-03 - Philadelphia, PA - The Rising Stadium Tour

Ranking of the concerts by MOST MEMORABLE for me
1. 8-27-99 - Boston Mass - I sat in the front row.
2. 6-20-06 - Camden, New Jersey - I went with Seamus, Maureen, Mark, and Amy
3. 11-8-05 - Spectrum, Philadelphila PA - Devils and Dust tour. I went by myself and really enjoyed it. It was, by far and wide, the best Bruce concert I have seen.
4. 7-27-03 - Giant Stadium, New Jersey - I went with my Mom and Aunt Louise, Amy, and Jason & Kristin.
5. 4-26-06 - Asbury Park New Jersey - Dude, it was Bruce IN Asbury Park playing the 4th show with his new band... AND i met his banjo player before the show.
6. 6-26-93 - Madison Square Garden, NY - Dude, Matthews called me with free tickets 2 days before the show. He sang Atlantic City.
7. 8-9-06 - Lincoln Financial Field - Phila PA - I went with Amy, Matthews, and Jamie. Two Words: Trapped and For You played back to back.
8. 8-7-99 - Continental Airlines Arena New Jersey - We drove down from Vermont with Joe and Tammy - It was Amy's first Bruce show and my first show seeing the E Street Band. We had really bad seats, but dude, it was the boss.
9. 8-29-02 - My First Bruce show. It was awesome and he sang Atlantic City and it was at the end of a really shitty summer for me, so I was stoked.

Ranking of concerts by SETLIST
1. 08-09-03 - The Linc in Philly - He opened with Adam Raised a Cain, and played Trapped, For You, She's the One, Spirit in the Night, Badlands, and Thunder Road. THEN he played Hungry Heart, Glory Days and Born to Run back-to-back-to-back. THEN Rosalita and Dancin' in the Dark.

*I am not even going to have a second place because first place was so freaking awesome. Dude, he played Trapped. TRAPPED!!! Can you believe that???? How great is that? When it started, I grabbed Amy's arm and yelled "IT'S TRAPPED... HE'S PLAYING TRAPPED." I then looked at Jamie and yelled "DO YOU KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE? HE'S PLAYING TRAPPED!!!." It was like that zen moment when you just thinking "man, this is awesome, I am seeing Bruce with Amy and Matthews and it's cool... the sound it this place isn't the best, but hey it's cool, I'm seeing the boss and he's rocking The Ties that Bind..." and then the moment you've been waiting for at every single Bruce Concert you've ever been to actually happens. The organ starts... by the 3rd note, all the knowledgable Bruce fans in the crowd know what is happening and simultaneously roar their collective approval of what they will know will possibly be the best 5 minutes and 30 seconds of all the Bruce concerts they have ever seen combined. And it is true, it was the best song I have ever heard live. Of all the bands and all the concerts I have ever seen, hearing that song was the pinacle of all songs ever.

Bruce played that songs in the United States only 3 times that summer. He has like 500 songs in his arsenal and I was lucky enough to get to hear Trapped.

3. 08-27-99 - Front Row Show - He opened with Candy's Room, The Ties that Bind and Adam Raised a Cain. He then played a five-song string of Mansion on the Hill, Point Blank, Youngstown, Murder Inc. & Badlands. Tenth Avenue Freeze-out, New York City Serenade, Jungleland, and Raise Your Hand.

Kind of like Trapped, New York City Serenade was just so awesome... it was just bizarre that he would play it. It was almost surreal and I looked at the Bruce Geek sitting next to me and said "Is this New York City Serenade?" And he said "I think it is..." And we just kind of had this puzzled look on our faces. I remember thinking "at what point did Bruce say 'Tonight I am going to play what is possibly the weirdest, arguably the most audience-unfriendly song of my entire catalog.'" It is a song that is almost impossible to sing along to and would seem best suited to be played at a tiny theater with just a group of hard-core fans in the crowd. But who cares... I got to hear it and it was awesome. (again only played 4 times on the whole tour.)

4. 11-08-06 - The Spectrum, Philly on the Devils and Dust Tour - A handful of my favorite bruce songs played accoustic - you really can't go wrong. Atlantic City, Incident on 57th Street, Be True (on piano), Highway Patrolman, Devils and Dust, Johnny 99 sung through this thing that distorted his voice... it was really cool.

5. 08-07-99 - Continental Airlines Areana, NJ - Meeting Across the River and Jungleland back-to-back. Factory, Point Blank, Youngstown, Murder Inc, Badlands, Out in the Street, and Tenth Avenue Freeze-out in a row! Don't Look Back. Awesome.

Ranking of Concerts by PEOPLE I WENT WITH
1. 06-20-06 - Camden N.J. - Seamus, Amy, Maureen & Mark
2. 07-27-03 - Giant Stadium - Mom, Louise, Amy, Jason & Kristin
3. 08-27-99 - Front Row Show - Amy
4. 06-28-93 - MSG NYC - Matthews
5. 09-07-03 - Linc - Amy, Matthews, Jamie
6. 08-07-06 - Continental Airlines - Amy, Joe & Tammy
7. 08-29-92 - Manny, Choniere

SINGLE BEST BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN CONCERT MOMENTS
1. Bruce slapped my hand - i think everyone knows that would be number 1.
2. Trapped
3. Candy's Room to open the Front Row Show
5. Seamus singing along to "Pay me my money down."
6. Seamus singing along to "Oklahoma Home."
4. Seamus asking me "What's for dinner?" while Bruce was singing Maria's Bed for the first time on the entire tour.
5. Be True on the Devils and Dust tour - he played it on the piano and screwed up really bad and had to start over... it was really neat to see.
6. Seeing my mom and aunt Louise rock with the boss.
7. Badlands at the Front Row Show - the crowd was really really into the whooaaoh - whooaoh- whooaoh part so after the song was over, bruce started playing the riff on his guitar again and the crowd picked up on it right away even though the band didn't know exactly what Bruce was doing... then Max picked up the beat and then the rest of the band... that was freaking awesome.
8. Amy rocking with the boss in the front row and pumping her fist in the air and singing the words all wrong.
9. Jungleland at the New Jersey show.
10. Atlantic City on the Devils & Dust show.

Peace.

p.s.
when bruce sings Atlantic City, he says "Now there's trouble busing in from out of state."
A few weeks ago at Fiona's birthda party, seamus was playing my banjo and started to sing Atlantic City, and he said: "Now there's trouble coming in from outerspace."
seamus is part of the folk process. I hope someday seamus records an album and uses his alternate lyrics for Atlantic City.

I drew this picture of Seamus singing his version of Atlantic City:

Birdhouse

My dad made a bluebird house for us. Amy painted the bird on it. We have a couple of sparrows who are interested in renting it, but none have signed the lease yet.

Another Unfunny Comix

Yeah, I like this one, but it is really not that funny and is a fairly obvious joke.... but I suppose that is why I am so easy to please - obvious jokes make me laugh.

Unfunny Comix

Addendum to my allergy math problem

1 - the equation i wrote should have said A + B > C. But I suppose there was a typo in there.

2 - after a long conversation with Jason, I came to realize that is should have actually been more like A x B > C.

Jason and I went to the Reading Phillies last night with My Dad and Christo. It was a good time. We had seats right behind home plate right down in front. It was the last home game of the season and there was a tribute to Scott Wertz, a Police Officer who died in the line of duty about 3 weeks ago. It was sad and very uplifting. Before the game, for the singing of the national anthem, about 40 kids ran out onto the field... they were all kids that Officer Wertz had coached in Little League. I thought that was very special and really neat to see. The Phillies wore these really cool jerseys that said Police with the first letter in the style of the Phillies Trademark "P."

peace

Amy and Nona are away so Mike will play

Yeah, Amy and Fiona are in Shamokin for a few days, (i am sure fiona will blog all about it), so i had two whole interrupted nights to play Risk on the computer.

I am practicing. Some day Zecchinelli and Dewey will be up for a game and I need to be prepared.

Here is a list of things I didn't do while Amy and Fiona were in Shamokin:
1. The laundry
2. The dishes
3. Cook for myself
4. Clean the car
5. Make the bed
6. Take out the trash
7. Take out the compost

I hate when I am home alone. I am wicked unproductive and I just feel like a lump on a log. I sit at work and make a list of things I need to do when I get home, like work on my calendar and get stuff ready for Fiona's b-day party. But instead, I get home, eat too much food, watch some tv, play Risk, eat some ice cream, and go to bed at like 11:30.

I am not faulting Amy and Fiona for going to Shamokin, I am actually happy that they go. Fiona loves seeing her MamMam and Aunt Sissy. It certainly is not their fault that I am lazy.

So Amy and Fiona will be home today. When I get home from work I will be back to normal. Hopefully I will be able to get some of my projects done.

peace

oh yeah... if anyone likes podcasts, i recommend The Monkey Box. It is wicked funny. Kind of reminds me of Dritsas's Bad Hair group. I feel like such a Gen-X loser when I recommend podcasts that I like. Like I am cool because I have an MP3 player and I don't think many of my friends do. So I am like that rich jackass from high school who always had the new gadgets 6 months before anyone else. That being said, i think MP3 players have been out for like 10 years, so instead of me feeling like a Gen-X loser for recommending a podcast, all you 24 - 38 somethings who are in the target market for electronic gizmos who DON'T have an MP3 player - perhaps it is you who is the losers.

Disclaimer: I don't actually mean that you are losers, I was just saying it to be sarcastic and/or funny. Please don't be insulted... unless you truly are a loser, in which case I might recommend some therapy or a Dr. Phil book.

Disclaimer 2 - i wrote this before work and didn't spell check.

Thank God For the Rain

In Taxi Driver, psychopathic self-righteous cabbie Travis Bickle says: "Thank God for the rain which has helped wash away the garbage and trash off the sidewalks."

Here in ScrappleDog, handsome and slender self-righteous idiot Michael Holland says "Thank God for the rain which has helped wash away the dust and pollen out of the air."

It is a beautiful Sunday Morning here in Lititz. It is beautiful because it is raining. As you know, we had a really really heavy storm at the end of June. Since then we have had extremely dry weather for about. The aforementioned storm gave all the plants and trees and flowers and other leaf, acorn, and pollen-producing entities all the juice it needed to do their best to agitate my allergies. And they are doing a great job at it. But they are not alone as the culprits in bothering my extraordinarily sensitive sinuses... I am as much to blame as they.

It's an algebra problem, really. A +B <> is the amount of pollen, dust, mold spores, dog hair, etc. B is how much time I voluntarily spend in the pollen, dust, etc. And C is an allergy reaction that will pretty much incapacitate me for the rest of the day.

The big thing here is NOT the amount of things in the air, it is how much time I spend out there. The things in the air are just doing their own thing. Their job is to create new life by spreading their spores all over the place. And the dust, it doesn't really have a job, it is a vacuous non-entity that just goes where it is told to go by the air currents that are it's masters. The big thing here is who on earth I think I can just go out there and work in the dust and pollen and get away with it. Let's look at the case studies, shall we:

The past 3 weekends have been marked by allergy attacks.

August 13: I spend the preceding 2 days and the morning of the 13th at the Buck Hollow Hunting Camp. There is a dirt road in front and near the camp and dump trucks working on the Lyman Run Dam project kick up an ass-load of dust all weekend long. Also, there are a lot of allergens in the air that my body is not used to, so I have very little immunity against those things. Result: After spending a day at Larry Land, riding in a covered wagon on a dirt road, sitting outside in the dusty air, and vacuuming the camp, the ride home was a very very long one with me sneezing and wiping my nose incessantly.

August 20: About 2,000,000 acorns have fallen off our oak tree. I decided it would be the perfect time to rake them. So I did. I over-exerted myself, did a fair amount of heavy breathing that brought in a lot of allergens and spent the next day at Charolotte's baptism and party sneezing and wiping my nose incessantly.

August 26: I replaced a few pieces of wood on the back porch. Again - outside, some physical exertion with heavy breathing, but more importantly: A whole lot of saw dust. I wore a bandana around my nose and mouth, but to no avail. My allergies started bothering me. Fiona and I then went to Mom and Dad's where Jackdog didn't help my allergy situation. I am not "allergic" to Jackdog, but because I am not around him too much, he does have the ability to assist in working my allergies. So I spent the balance of yesterday at my folks's place and up at Cabela's with dad sneezing and wiping my nose incessantly. The nice thing about yesterday was that it was a Saturday and I didn't have to work the next day... Therefore, I was able to treat my allergies not only with Fexofenodrine, but also with my favorite over-the-counter medicinal aide: Maker's Mark Whisky.

If I want to NOT have allergy attacks, then I need to stop over-doing it when I am outside. I can mow the lawn, but I shouldn't follow it by trimming the hedges and turning the compost. If I am going to fix the back porch, I need to subcontract the cutting of the wood to someone else, i.e. Dad, Christo, Jason, Amy, or Fiona. Doing projects is not the problem, the problem is that I am an idiot who needs to be doing projects in order to feel like I have accomplished something. Otherwise it is Monday morning and I get to work and Miranda says to me: "What did you do this weekend?" And I say "Nothing," and I feel like I wasted two days.

So the problem here is this: I do things that I shouldn't do that are going to bother me. But I can't spend the entire summer not mowing the lawn or getting chores done either. So what can I do? I can resign myself to fact that I have some problems that really bother me and I have to live with it. There are people in the world who have it a lot worse than me so I can't really complain too much about it. I think this attitude is the best thing to have because I can either sit around being incapacitate and being really pissed off about it, or I can say "hey, this is my body telling me to sit down and relax for a few hours. Have a tea-party with Fiona, watch Baby Einstein with Fiona, do the crosswords (which is kind of hard because I am sometimes out of it mentally and the crosswords are a lot harder that way), rent a movie, watch the Phillies on TV, play Risk on the computer, or take a nice long nap."

But, I can still be thankful that the rain is here and will hopefully keep some of the nasty allergens out of the air for a few days. And I can count down to November when the hard frost comes and kills off all the pollen producers.

Peace.

Not much going on

Nothing exciting in the world of MPH the past few days.

Our windows are going to be installed in a few days. I am stoked about that. Hopefully our gas bill will go down significantly in the near future.

I put up the birdhouse that dad made for us. That was fun. I hope we soon have birdies living in it.

I raked the acorns in the yard. It didn't take as long as I expected, but it was a gigantic pain in the thumb. I got a really nasty blister. Here is the kicker: I raked a few thousand acorns and there are about 20,000 more to rake over the next few weeks. They rain down and they hurt quite a bit if you get hit on the head. I am concerned that Nona's b-day party will be somewhat dampened if there is a downpour of acorns while everyone is sitting under the oak tree.

Sunday we went to Charolette Huck's baptism. It was nice to see Bayard and Emelie and get to hang out with them for an afternoon.

Peace.

Sorry so boring.

Weekend at Buck Hollow Hunting Club

This past weekend, Amy, Fiona, Cisco and I went up to the cabin with Kevin, Kara, Megan and Nate Kearney.

As you may or may not know, in May Kevin returned home from a year-long tour of duty in Iraq, so it was nice to be able to spend some time with him and his family.

We had a great time and the weather was perfect from begining to end.

We took a long walking tour of Larry Land, stopping to let Cisco swim in Long Pond. We went over to the new Christmas Trees that Larry and I planted last spring. We found Fiona's Christmas Tree and it looks healthy. After looking at Nona's tree, we hiked over to Pine Pond and Spring Pond. Along the way, we stopped and picked a whole lot of wild raspberries. They were very very tasty. Up at Spring Pond was a gigantic pile of Bear Poop. At one point Fiona was running straight for it and, while Amy was frozen with fear, I swooped in and lifted Fiona out of harm's way just in the nick of time.

After we left Larry Land, we went back to the cabin. That evening we sat around a campfire out back and talked. We saw a Big Mama Bear with two cubs.

On Saturday morning, Kara made pancakes with the wild raspberries we had picked.

Later, we went on a covered wagon ride along Pine Creek in the Grand Canyon of PA. It was pretty neat and Fiona, Megan and Nate really seemed to enjoy it. We then went to the Leonard Harrison State Park on the east rim of the Grand Canyon. Back at camp, we had dinner and smores and sat around the campfire. We saw only one bear, but it was a big one.

On sunday, we packed up and headed home. It was a great weekend to be at the cabin and we were very happy to be able to spend time with the Kearney Family.

SPICE WORLD, the Spice Girls Movie

Last weekend was Maureen's baby shower at my folks' house. Mark's sister, Erin was there and we were talking about movies that you wouldn't normally think were any good. For Instance: Maureen and mark, both of whom graduated from Lehigh and are generally considered pretty smart and to a certain degree "cultured," have an afinity for the movies Drumline and Bring It On, and Mean Girls.

I then said that one of my favorite movies that i am somewhat embarassed to admit i even watched was Spice World, the Spice Girls movie. Erin thought it was insane to even try to comprehend even thinking about even considering the feasibility of possibly watching such a movie.

THEREFORE, I want to try and make a case for Spice World. Here are a few facts I was unable to remember when I was telling Erin about the movie.
The Following People are in Spice World:

Elvis Costello (as himself)
Elton John
George 'Norm Peterson' Wendt*
Roger 'James Bond' Moore
Kevin McKinney of the Kids In The Hall
Meatloaf
Bob 'Boomtown Rats, Live Aid, Live 8' Geldolf **
Jools Holland
Bob Hoskins
Hugh 'House M.D.' Laurie
Richard O'Brien aka Riff Raff from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

How can a movie with this many AWESOME people in it be bad? It can't.
If you rent this movie and you are not 100% completely satisfied, I will send you a full refund for whatever you paid to rent it (up to $4.50 u.s.)***

IF you are still not sold on Spice World, I might direct you to www.spiceworld.uk.com, a web site about spices and how to use them for cooking and/or medicinal purposes.

*As some of you may know, I made a complete ass of myself when I met him at a Basshead concert in New York.

**who also played the role of Pink in Pink Floyd's epic "the Wall" which Erin considers a rock opera... i do not think of it as a rock opera, more of a long-term psychological study of the effects of the trauma of war and instutionalized education on a young child's mind as told through a scattering array of musical vignets that are linked only by a common character. It relates only vague, but yet severe, hypotheticals that could have happened to any one of a number of young British boys who lost their father to a war he did not understand and then went on to become a international rock superstar during and in the immediate aftermath of World War II and had their lives forever changed negatively and is still searching for the answers that he knows he will never find. God, that could have been anyone... literally anyone. You, me, anyone.
An opera, in my ignorant opinion, is a story that is specific to one person and tells his story. I.e. Tommy, Jesus Christ, and Joseph and his Amazing Technocolored Dreamcoat.

Also - - - AND THIS IS IMPORTANT - - - Opera's are entirely sung. The Wall has several lines in it which are spoken. I.e. the operator on the telephone when Pink calls his wife - those lines are not spoken. Also the infamous "you can't have pudding if you don't eat your meat" dialog of the schoolmaster is spoken, not sung. Therefore - NOT an opera.

Of the rock operas - i list them thusly:
1. Jesus Christ Superstar
2. Tommy
3. Joseph and the Amazing Technocolored Dreamcoat

IF The Wall must be included in the list - i list them thusly
1. The Wall
2, Jesus Christ Superstar
3. Tommy
4. Joseph and the Amazing Technocolor Dreamcoat.

***This offer applies to Erin only.

Red Hot Chili Peppers & The Boss

So I've been listening to the new Red Hot Chili Peppers album. So far I like it. Usually when they have a new album out, I'm not so nuts about it, but then after listening to it a few times, I really get into it. This one I liked right off the bat. Chad Smith's drumming really snaps and Frusciante's guitar meanders seamlessly between delicate angelic grace and raging controlled pandemonium. Flea's bass is Flea's bass, always good. But not being a bass afficianado, I can not say if it is any better or more inventive that any other bass player out there. (The bass has always bored the crap out of me. I don't know why.)

There is one lyric on the album that really seemed to pop out at me. I still haven't figured out what the hell it means and if I should be happy or angry about it. Every time I hear it, I stunningly perplexed.

Here it is:
SHE'S GOT THAT MOOD RING
A LITTLE SISTER ROSE
THE SMELL OF SPRINGSTEEN
A PAIR OF PANTYHOSE

"The smell of Springsteen?"
Is that a shout-out?
Or an insult?
Is Keidis giving mad props to the boss, or is he deriding Bruce for what he might view as being something of a media whore?

On Californication, Keidis sez "Cobain can you hear the spheres/singing songs of off Station to Station." Now that is a clear cut example of how to praise both Kurt Cobain and David Bowie. Keidis's (and the RHCP in general) are more likely to be lined up with Nirvana and Bowie than with Bruce and I don't think a whole lot of RHCP's fans are also Bruce fans so maybe he thinks he is able to cut on Bruce.

But RHCP has never been about dissing people and Keidis certainly doesn't need any street-cred like a rapper who needs to put down his enemies to show that he is tough. RHCP and Bruce exist in mutually exclusive circles. Keidis doesn't need to rip on Bruce, unless, as I mentioned earlier, he thinks Bruce is selling out lately. (I.e. being on 60 Minutes, the Today Show, Sirius Satellite Radio, NPR's Fresh Air, BBC's Mastermind, BBC's Great Performances*, CMT, Conan O'Brien, etc. etc.) But I seriously doubt Keidis would openly dis Bruce like that, for two reasons: 1.) One of his good buddies, Eddie Vedder, freaking loves Bruce. And 2.) telling a group of stereotypical RHCP fans that Bruce Springsteen sucks would be like preaching to the choir.

And besides, RHCP has done their fair share of selling out:
1.) they have thier own Adidas Sneakers (I am not making fun of the RHPC for this... these shoes kick so much ass that I would go without lunch for ($209.99/$3.45**) days to get some of these.)
2.) they made a NIKE commercial with Andre Agasi in the early 90's.
3.) they are going to be in a NASCAR commercial.

While I think RHCP and Bruce are at opposite ends of the spectrum musically, i would have to say that with the exceptions of lots of tattoos, RHCP has very very very little in common with Nascar fans. (Oh yeah, maybe the fact that Keidis and Frusciante are recovering addicts... they might have that in common with some Nascar fans.)

Anyway, in writing this I have come to the conclusion that it is just a lyric. Nothing more. A word/name that fit the space. In the preceding verse he says "She doesn't like the Rolling Stones" as if that makes the girl a weirdo. I am not sure if i would be glad if he said "She doesn't like Springsteen." I guess I would... it would imply that he does like Springsteen.

I guess I might be thinking too much.

peace
mph


* what's up with the superlative titles of BBC shows? "Mastermind?" "Great Performances?" If you get invited to go on one of those shows, you better be prepared. You don't want to go on Mastermind and get the $100 question wrong. Or give a average-good performance on "Great Performances."

**the price of 2 Slices and a Coke at Nick's Pizzeria.

Movies

Part of me is looking forward to winter.
Winter is when the days get short and I start to spend more time in front of the tv. I usually start up Netflix and veg out for about 3 months. Here is my current list of movies I will put in my Netflix queue. (Not in any particular order)

Nacho Libre
Wordplay
Superman Returns
Good Night, Good Luck
Click
Night Shift
A Prarie Home Companion
Keeping Up with the Steins
The Benchwarmers
Thank You for Smoking
Strangers with Candy
Who Killed the Electric Car?
Scary Movie 2
Scary Movie 3
Scary Movie 4
Teen Movie 2
Teen Movie 3
Teen Movie 4
Friends with Money
Notorious Betty Paige
American Dreamz
Dave Chappelles Block Party
Madea's Family Reunion
The Pink Panther
Nanny McPhee
Wallace and Grommit: Curse of the WereRabbit
Around the World in 80 Days (The 1989 TV Miniseries version that featured Pierce Brosnin and Eric Idle.)
Talladega Nights: Ballad of Ricky Bobby

This list is banking on the hope that I will be seeing Cars and Pirates of the Caribbean in the theater.

Peace.

Shore Report 2k6

We just got home from our trip to Ocean City, New Jersey and we had a wonderful time.

HIGHLIGHTS

• Scrapple Sticks
• seeing Lucy the Elephant
• my dad and I playing with Fiona in the shallow water
• walking on the boardwalk
• Amy, Fiona, and I getting our pictures taken in one of those photo booths
• playing mini golf with Amy, Maureen, Mark, Nathaniel, and Neil
• Riding waves with Christo
• Hearing Reen and Dad make fun of Bruce Springsteen
• Watching Soccer with Mark
• Food (including but not limited to the following things: the aforementioned Scrapple Sticks, Chicken & Waffles, Waffles & Ice Cream, T.T.'s cake, Aunt Holly's Red Velvet Cake, Pot Pies, mint ice cream, Uncle Bill's Pancakes (mmmmm... stuffed French Toast.) Mack & Manco's Pizza, dutch-oven jambalaya, $3 Coconut Macaroons, Browns Cinnamon, Honey, Plain, and Powdered donuts, French Fries.)
• Hanging out with Dritsas on Sunday afternoon and dropping Mentos into a 2-litre bottle of Diet Coke
• Wonderland Pier
• digging in the sand
• riding a surrey bike with Amy and Fiona
• going to see Bruce Springsteen with Seamus
• going to see Bruce Sprignsteen with Amy, Maureen, and Mark

A FEW RANDOM NOTES ON THE SHORE TRIP

• Mark won the Miniature-Golf Tournament (If Reen would have had a three or less on the last hole of the last game, she would have won the tournament... she got a 6 on that hole.)
• I did not get sunburned at all.
• Amy, Fiona, and I sent a total of 18 post cards.
• I lost my St. Patrick/St. Brigid medallion in the ocean. My mom and dad got that for me when they went to Ireland in 2000.
• Mack & Manco's pizza is completely over-rated and over-priced.
• The Bruce Concert was awesome, but I was actually more excited about being there with Seamus, and Maureen and Mark then I was about seeing Bruce. And that makes me very very happy. I love Bruce, but he wasn't even close to being the best part of that evening.

A FEW FUNNY THINGS THAT WERE SAID AT THE SHORE

• While I was reading "Body Brokers," a book about the illegal sales of deceased human bodies for medical experiments, my cousin asked how much a human brain costs, and I responded "$600." My Dad then said: "Perhaps you (meaning me) should save up for a new one."
• While Bruce Springsteen was singing 'Maria's Bed' for the first time on the entire tour and I was singing along enthusiastically, Seamus came over to me and said: "What's for dinner?"
• While discussing Fiona's Strawberry Shortcake shoelaces and Amy's need for Fiona to like Strawberry Shortcake and my NEED for Fiona to like Scrapple, Mark and I both said some thing that ended with the words: "Scrapple Shoelaces." (I think if I ever have a band, it will be called "Scrapple Shoelaces.")
• After telling Caitlin that she should try to never get old, she said to me: "You're not old." I then said, "Thank you... how old do you think I am?" Caitlin then said: "Ummm... 46?"

FUN FACTS

• Mack and Manco's Pizza and my Uncle Tim are both 50 years old.
• Samantha and Sara's first solid food was Mack and Manco's pizza.
• The She Sharks beat the Sea Monkeys at Wiffle ball after Amy "Zimmy" Holland blasted a three-run homer over the head of her husband.
• Amy and I got some Christmas Shopping done.
• As for Ocean City license plates for bicycles, they did not have Fiona, Nona, Kellen, or Madison. They did, however, have Omar. (Incidentally, they did have SARA and SAMANTHA.)

If I remember more fun things, I will update them later.

OCNJ 2K6

Yeah, we are heading out to Ocean City N.J. bright and early tomorrow morning.

I am all packed, thanks to Amy. She packed all my clothes and whatnot and I have been put in charge of remembering to bring the Bruce Springsteen tickets.

I have already placed them in the suitcase, but knowing myself as well as I do, I will probably check the suitcase again tonight... then tomorrow morning before I put the suitcase in the car... and then after I put the suitcase in the car because you know there is a chance that they could have fallen out between our front door and the curb... i will also probably check when we get to the Frank S. Farley rest stop... and then again when we get to the apartment.

And then i will check again on saturday night, sunday morning, sunday night, monday morning, monday night, tuesday morning, tuesday afternoon, and tuesday before we leave for the show. I will then check again when we are about a block from the apartment, perhaps again 10 minutes later, again 30 minutes later and then when we get to the parking lot of the Tweeter Center. I will then walk to the gate with the tickets in my pocket and my hand on the tickets while they are in my pocket and when we finally arrive at the gate and I give Amy, Maureen, Mark, and Seamus their tickets, and then hand MY ticket to the ticket-taker... then I will relax about the tickets.

Then I will be able to enjoy the rest of my week, knowing that I have absolutely nothing else to worry about for the next 5 days... except losing at minigolf.

peace
mph

New Movies

MOVIES OUT NOW (OR COMING OUT SOON) THAT LOOK REALLY GOOD
1. Nacho Libre
2. Cars
3. Strangers With Candy
4. Superman Returns (I want to see this movie at an IMAX theater.)
5. The Break-Up

MOVIES OUT NOW THAT LOOK LIKE THEY TOTALLY SUCK
1. Garfield 2: The Tale of Two Kitties
2. The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift

Peace
MPH

SUMMER OF MPH V2.0?

Could this be the Summer of Michael P. Holland Version 2.0?

Let's look at the summer so far:

I had a few warm up days in late spring with a Springsteen Concert and a trip to the cabin with Dad and Larry.

And then a trip to see the Phillies with Dad and Fiona.

And then Memorial Day was upon us and with it, we went to Vermont and Mass.

The next weekend, Fiona spent her first night away from home by herself, hanging out with MomMom and Pop-Pop, while Amy and I went out to eat and bowling with friends.

And coming up: a trip to the shore that will be punctuated with minature golf, playing in the ocean with Fiona, perhaps going to see Cars, and of course, Going To See BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN with Amy, Maureen, Mark, and Seamus. Dude, how cool is Seamus? Going to rock with the boss when he is only 5 years old?BONUS: Dritsas might be going, too.

The week after that is fourth of July. And beyond that... who knows? All I can say is life is good for MPH.

peace

Trip to Massachusetts

Well, we are home from our whirl-wind tour of New England. We arrived home last night and all slept really really well in our own beds.

Our three days in Massachusetts were great. We ate Lobster and went candle-pin bowling. We watched 4 episodes of The Office and went to a really cool garden that had a merry-go-round.

Amy painted a cow jumping over the moon on the wall of Maureen & Mark's nursery. Fiona got to play with her Auntie Maureen and Uncle Mark a whole lot.

We got to drive our new car a whole lot and it was fine.

Couple of Vermont/Massachusetts lists:
Number of Dunkin' Donuts we saw while we were there:
1.) Like a billion.

Number of DD's we ate at:
2.) Zero (we did have some at Joe & Tammy's house and we stopped at one in Rhode Island, but we did not actually eat at any in Vermont or Mass.)

Most annoying things about Massachusetts:
1.) The way people drive
2.) All those freaking Red Sox hats, t-shirts, sweatshirts, bumper stickers (or as they say up there 'bumpah stickahs'), liscense plates, banners, flags, clocks, etc etc etc

Number of Rotaries we needed to negotiate:
1.) about 10

Number of times the guy behind me was aggitated enough with my inability to pull the trigger and merge into the rotary that he was forced to honk his horn:
1.) only once

Number of days while we were in Mass that it rained:
1.) Zero

How long it rained on the day we had to drive home
1.) Over 7 hours.
2.) From Maureen's house striaght through to Hamburg PA

Number of diapers we had left when we arrived at my folks' house at the end of our drive:
1.) 1... the one that Fiona was wearing.

Number of times Amy got Punk'd by me and/or Maureen
1.) 2
a.) I made her believe that she had forgot to tell me that Fiona's clothes were packed in a different bag from ours and that that bag was still at home. Hilarious.
b.) Reen got Amy to believe that Dunkin Donuts in Massachusetts closed at 3:00 on Fridays so they could prepare for the Saturday rush.

What the guy at the candlepin bowling place entered into the automated scoring system when Maureen told him Amy's name
1.) Katie

How our names appeared on the automated scoring system thing:
1.) MIK
2.) KAT
3.) MAU
4.) MAR

Candlepin bowling results
1.) Mark
2.) Katie (Amy)
3.) Maureen
4.) Mike

Number of miles on our new car when we left Lititz:
1.) 84

Number of miles on our car when we arrived in Lititz:
1.) 1,446

Number of states Fiona was in for the first time:
1.) 6 (New York, Vermont, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut.)

That is all for now.

Peace,
MPH

Vermont

I am checking in here from Massachusetts. Amy and I arrived yesterday after a real good time in Vermont. We did almost all the stuff we wanted to do. And we did all the stuff we really wanted to do like hang out with Joe and Tammy, and Tim, Nicole, Owen, and Marnie. We also went to Trattoria Delia, our Favorite Vermont Restaurant.
Here is what I had:
Scamorza alla Griglia Wood-grilled handmade smoked mozzarella served on a bed of arugula with grilled tomatoes, eggplant and zucchini drizzled with extra-virgin olive oil.

Spaghetti alla Pescatora Fresh baby clams, mussels, shrimp and calamari sauteed with olive oil, white wine, garlic, herbs and tomatoes.

Semifreddo alle Mandorle Literally translated, a “semi-frozen” vanilla mousse with a “Torrone” almond nougat, drizzled with a warm caramel sauce.

And a Coke.

The next day we went to Al's French Fries for lunch. I had a pizza burger, a sausage sandwich, some french fries. And a Coke. Fiona had a Hot Dog, and Amy had a Cheeseburger and some french fries.

On Tuesday, we went up to Stowe and ate at The Shed. Mmmmmmm... Shed Burger. I had a Shed Bacon-cheeseburger and fries. And a Mountain Ale Brew. Man alive it was really good. I do not consider myself much of a beer conniseur, but this beer was very good. It was light and very crisp and refreshing. I enjoyed it a great deal, but as I don't drink so much anymore, I did not buy a growler of it to take home with me. (Joe got me a case of Magic Hat's Fat Angel Ale, which is my favorite Vermont Beer.)


We then went on the touristy tour of Stowe/Waterbury. We went to the Cold Hollow Cider Mill where I worked when we first moved to Vermont. And we went to Cabot Cheese for some free cheese. My dad still holds the record for most free cheese eaten. His picture is on the wall. And we went to Ben & Jerry's. I bought some post cards and stamps. I asked for 9 stamps, but they accidentally gave me 11. I didn't realize the error until we were down the road a ways. Ha Ha, i got one over on Ben & Jerrys. I ripped them off for 48 cents!!! DOWN WITH THE CAPITALIST HIPPIES!!

Now we are here in Mass with Maureen and Mark and we are having fun. Amy is painting a mural on the nursery wall, Fiona is watching Sesame Street with her Auntie Reen, and I am relaxing! When Mark gets home we are going out for Lobster at the Lobster Trap. All is good!

Trip to Vermont/Massachusetts

In honor of our trip to Vermont, I am putting up this comic that features me and Joe and Nicole.

You can click on the comic and it will appear bigger.

We will be taking our brand new Saturn Vue on our trip north. Our Fordy Ford did not pass inspection as it was "Uninspectable due to rusted frame and unsafe to drive." I look forward to getting a new car, because i will finally get to drive my Subaru which we have been for Fiona for the past 21 months.



here is my list of stuff to do/stuff not to forget in preparation for my trip to Vermont and Massachusetts:

1.) Make tapes to listen to in car:
a. King of the Hill
b. Pete& Pete
c. So I Married An Ax-Murderer
d. NewsRadio

2.) MP3 Players
3.) FM Transmitter *
4.) Directions
5.) Mow Lawn
6.) Pay Bills
7.) Update Blog
8.) Fill up Mp3 Players (I have 2 MP3 players. I put the Rolling Stones 40 Licks, Shawn Colvin's A Few Small Repairs, & Natalie Merchant's Tigerlilly on the MP3 player Amy gave me for Father's Day last year and Bruce Springsteen's The Rising, Devils and Dust, and the Seeger Sessions, and Dar Williams' My Better Self on the MP3 player i won at work last month.)
9.) Addresses for Postcards
a. Madison
b. Connor
c. Molly
d. Seamus
e. T.T.
10.) Cell Charger
11.) Allergy Medication
12.) Mail Netflix Movie back (The Movie is "Therese: The Story of St. Therese of Lisieux." I liked it a lot. I cancelled Netflix and if i don't get it back to them by thursday, i will have to purchase the movie.)
13.) Cell Phone & Charger
14.) Wallet

There is a second list as well with stuff to take up to Joe and Tammy:
1.) Yuengling
2.) Miller's Hot Sausage
3.) Devils & Dust
4.) The Rising
5.) Seeger Sessions

I was going to get Joe some real scrapple, but I think it would go bad by the time we got to Vermont.

Restaurants I want to go to in Vermont:
1.) Trattorial Delia
2.) The Shed
3.) Al's
4.) Munchies

We don't have a list of anything to take to Mark and Maureen.
Here is what I want to to in Massachusetts:
1.) Candlepin Bowling
2.) Eat Lobster
3.) Watch the Office Marathon on NBC on Thursday Night. (They are showing the episode where Michael hooks up with Jan. It is the only episode i haven't seen. I missed it because I was rockin with with Boss.)

*I actually don't need the FM Transmitter since our new car has an MP3 player input jack! Hot Diggety!

Peace

6 years ago today.....

Today (May 20) is Amy and My 6th anniversary.
The traditional gift for 6 years is iron, so i was a bit limited in what i could give Amy for our anniversary. A frying pan and an iron. I am thinking she would probably hit me in the head with them and my head would take the shape of the object, like in the cartoons. The other option, i suppose, is a wraught-iron fence. Iron Chef on DVD. An Iron Maiden cd?

Thankfully, there is the "modern" anniversary list that makes it easy for me. The sixth anniversary gift is: candy.

Well, you all know me well enough to know that i didn't just get amy a box of chocolates.

I actually put some thought into it and made her a mixed cd of all candy and sugar songs.

The track list is as follows:
Sugar Sugar by The Archies
Candy Everybody Wants by 10000 Maniacs
Lips Like Sugar by Echo and the Bunnymen
Candy's Room by Bruce Springsteen
Candy Man by Ramblin' Jack Elliot
Candy by Morphine
Candy by Iggy Pop and Kate Pierson
Sugar Shack by Johnny Gilmare
Candy By the Pound by Elton John
Brown Sugar by The Rolling Stones
I Want Candy by Bow Wow Wow

Some of the songs are pure pop - like Sugar Sugar, Sugar Shack, and I Want Candy. Some are a little blue, like Candy, and Candy. And I am pretty sure Ramblin' Jack is singing about a cocaine dealer. But I like the songs.

Songs that I left off and why:
Candy Store Rock by Led Zeppelin: it doesn't have the words 'candy' or 'sugar' in it at all.
Big Rock Candy Mountain by Burl Ives - i only have it on lp.
Sugar Baby by Bob Dylan - it is 6 minutes long and boring and slow.
Candyland by James McMurtry - it is not about candy or love... candyland is more of a methaphorical idea of a suburban landscape where everyone has what they think are good lives...but ultimately they are empty inside. (Incidentally, Candyland (the album) is my least favorite James McMurtry album. I highly recommend 1995's "Where'd You Hide the Body.")
Candyman by Sammy Davis Jr. - Sammy Davis always kind of creeped me out.
Candyman by The Grateful Dead - Dude, I hate the Grateful Dead.
Candy Shop by 50 Cent - yeah, that was kind of a no-brainer.
Good Shop Lollipop by Shirely Temple - i was going to put this on there to be ironic because the way Shirely Temple sings it really aggrivates Maureen. But I decided to not put a song on the album that i don't think Amy would like just to have an mildly amusing story to tell Maureen. And then when we listened to the album we might think less about our anniversary and more about Maureen's intense hatred of a little white girl who used her increadible tapdancing abilities to help the poor negores in the antebellum south make the best of their lot in life. "Sure, Mr. Bojangles, you don't have food, clothes, money, clean drinking water, an education, or even your freedom, but this song about a ocean liner made out of candy should take away all of your problems." (Fun fact about Shirley Temple: She is on the Sgt. Peppers album cover 3 times.)

I thought Lips Like Sugar was by the Cure, but it is not. A friend of mine in college, Steve Foland, once met Robert Smith of the Cure who said to him, "I just want to be treated like a normal person." Steve said he wished he had had the balls to say "Well then stop acting like such a freak."

Since the 6th anniversary is the Candy Anniversary, my wish list is as follows:
The Kids In The Hall movie Brain Candy on DVD.

My favorite fun fact about my wedding day: The last thing I ate as a bachelor was a piece of scrapple the size of a liscense plate.

MMMMM..... scrapple.

peace.

BRUUUUUUUCE!!!

T-minus 31 days until i see Bruce Springsteen with Amy, Maureen, and Mark.

2 Notes:
1.) Reen isn't fat, she's prego.
2.) It was actually a phone call, but I have a hard time drawing people talking on the phone.

Chewbacca Comic

(C) 2006 Michael P. Holland
Ducky Comics

Is Big Pete a Phillies Phan?

Awww, yeah.... Big Pete is rockin' what appears to be a Philadelphia Phillies hat in an episode titled "On Golden Pete."

What do the Phillies and Spinal Tap have in common???

A mullet and a kick-ass fu manchu.
Spinal Tap bassist, Derek Albion Smalls and Phillies catcher, Sal Fasano.

Weekend Plans

This weekend, Jan 27 - 29, I plan to do the following things:

Here are my chores:
I am going to clean the garage. I want to get all our tax stuff together. I want to burn some of the fallen branches and wood in the back yard. I need to repair two small floor boards on the second floor. Go to gym.

Fun stuff:
Play with Fiona. Work on my cigarbox ukulele. Blow through a $25 Barnes & Noble gift card. Watch some movies (Hotel Rwanda, National Treasure). Do a calendar drawing or two.

Holler.

Peace,
MPH

Springsteen & Alito

Alito Likes Springsteen. I like Springsteen. Therefore, by the awe-inspiring power of the transitive property, I like Alito.

Actually, I am indifferent to Alito. I am pro-life and I think the president's powers should be kept in check. So I am split with Alito.

But you all know the real reason you check in with scrapple dog - you want to hear about Bruce.

Dick Durbin invoked Bruce's name during the confirmation hearing and then when Alito made a quick comment on the boss and the New Jersey senate's decision to try and make Born To Run the state song. I think the senate actually tried to make it the official "Youth Anthem" of New Jersey. I always found that amusing - trying to make Born To Run the anthem of the youth. Born To Run is about trying your hardest to escape where you are from. So the best New Jersey can do is let the rest of the U.S. know that it whole-heartedly supports is youth trying to escape.

Dick Durbin comes off as kind of a jerk. I can understand if he and his Democratic comrades don't like Alito and/or his views, but can't they have just a little bit of class when they ask questions?? Why is it all about berating and asking pointed questions and talking down to him? Why can't it be a civilized exchange of ideas?

I hate when they ask him to defend something he said 20 years ago. 20 years is a long long time. Has Dick Durbin changed his mind on anything in the last 20 years?

NOW- before you all point too fine a point on my words, I do know that we are talking about a sensitive issue like abortion here and people's opinions don't usually change on a topic such as that. So let me say this: 20 years ago I would have said that abortion is murder. 10 years ago I would have said that abortion should be a woman's right. Now I say that abortion is murder.

I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed, but I'm not an idiot either. My world views are shaped and changed over time. Is it possible that something Alito wrote 20 years ago isn't exactly how he feels now??? Is it at all possible that he does, perhaps, have the ability to change.

This crap aggravates me.

20 yeas from now, Fiona is going to read old issues of smokin' dog and she is going to read in there a whole bunch of junk that a young mis-guided idiot wrote. That won't make her father a mis-guided idiot, will it?

I don't think anyone should ever be held accountable for things they said and wrote 20 years ago.

A lot of the left-wing groups who are makings sure that Alito's feet are held to the fire on the abortion thing he wrote 20 years ago fought like hell to try to keep Stan Tookie Williams alive. Tookie killed people. If the person who started the most notorious street gang in the world, a gang that is responsible for literally thousands of deaths, can change in less than 20 years, can't Samuel Alito? Oh hell no, Alito is pure evil and will be forever because 20 years ago he thought it was wrong to kill babies. What a freaking lunatic. What kind of screwed-up society do we live in where the convicted murder is the good guy and the Princeton-educated, father and husband, never been arrested or in trouble with the law for anything Supreme-Court nominee is the bad guy??

Anyway, I am not for or against Alito.

I am whole-heartedly against abortion. And I am whole-heartedly against the death penalty. And I do think people can change in 20 years.

peace
mph