State Quarters or Mike's Lamest Blog Topic to Date

I am not collecting the US Mint's state quarters, but I do enjoy seeing the designs when they come out. And for a long time I thought Vermont's design was the best because of it's simplicity. Other quarters have come along that are neat, but none matches Vermont.

Because I am obsessed with ranking things, I will here rank the five worst quarters and then rank the five best quarters.

Five Worst Quarters:

5. ALABAMA

Alabama has a picture of Helen Keller on theirs. Alabama became a state in 1819 and in the 184 years between their statehood and the release of thier quarter the only decent thing to come from their state was a deaf, blind woman?? I have nothing against Helen Keller, but is she the only thing Alabama has to be proud of? Well, maybe I just answered my own question.

4. NEW HAMPSHIRE

New Hampshire has a picture of the old man of the mountain natural rock formation. Natural rock formations that look like things never really do it for me because it is just a fluke. Now if it was a natural rock formation that actually looked like someone, like Abe Lincoln or Stevie Wonder, then that would be cool, but just a random outcropping of rock that looks kind of like a man's face - eh, not that impressive. Further more, it looks more like the rock 'em-sock 'em robots guy than a real person. Incidentally, this rock formation was destroyed in a rock slide in May of 2003. To their credit, New Hampshire did put their state logo, which is arguable the best state logo ever, on their coin: Live Free of Die. That sounds like it should be the name of a Metallica song, but in reality, it is the name of a song by Sun Volt.

3. FLORIDA

Florida went with a "three iconic images from our state" approach, but left off the most iconic images of thier state: Mickey Mouse, Retirees, and Cocaine Smugglers.







2. TEXAS

An out line of the state with a star? This was the best you could come up with. For all of Texas' "We're the biggest state in the lower 48" and "Don't Mess with Texas" talk, they sure did come up one steaming pile of buffalo dung for their quarter. 159 years of history including, but not limited to: the home of Sam Houston, birthplace of Jack Johnson, Stephen Austin, Buddy Holly, Richard Petty, Willie Nelson, Scott and Janis Joplin, and Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry, home of Bonnie and Clyde, 5-time Super Bowl Champ Dallas Cowboys. And of course, you have THE ALAMO!!!! Only one of the most iconic forts not just in American History, but in the History of all time. You have all that stuff and you go with and you settle on an outline of the state and a star?? If Texans are dumb enough to overlook all that history and put out this crappy quarter, it is easy to see how they the Bush family has been able to stay in power there so long. Yeah, you heard me.


THE WORST QUARTER OF ALL:
OHIO

Ohio has the worst quarter to date. What is so wrong with their quarter? They did not put anything on their quarter that has anything to do with their state. They put the Wright Brother's plane on it. Everyone in the world associates the Wright Brothers with North Carolina, and in fact, North Carolina put the Wright Brother's plane on their quarter a full 2 years before Ohio's quarter was issued. And they put a picture of an astronaut on their coin. Again, when you think of America's space program, you think of Florida where the space ships launch from, and you think of Houston. When there is a snafu occuring, people don't mockingly state "Cleveland, we have a problem," they say "Houston, we have a problem." Furthermore, the even state on their coin that nothing ever happened there, but people who did make things happen were born there. Birthplace of Aviation Pioneers... big freaking deal. The wright brothers and John Glenn were born there. Yeah; Who cares? It doesn't matter where someone is born, it is where they are raised and nurtured that matters. Maybe if Ohio didn't suck so much the Wright Brothers and john Glenn would have stayed.

FIVE BEST QUARTERS

5. WISCONSIN
Wisconsin went with the "Three iconic images from our state" motif and, unlike Florida, I think it works. Here is why: Wisconsin isn't a real flashy and or showy state. They do what they do and they are good at it. They don't rely on a lot of razz-a-matazz like Florida to get the job done. So when you think of Wisconsin, you generally think of cows and cheese, with the obvious exception of the Green Bay Packers. And as much as I like Brett Favre, I really don't think he should be on a coin.




4.TENNESEE


Tennesee really did a great job of simplfying. Much like Wisconsin, one specific thing comes to mind when you thing of Tennesee: music. So they played on that and kept it simple and put out a really nice looking coin. Only thing I would have changed: get rid of the trumpet and add a banjo.

3. CONNECTICUT

No flash for Connecticut, just a picture of a beautiful White Oak which was known as the Charter Oak because that particular tree played an important role in the state's history. The White Oak, incidentally, is connecticut's state tree.

2. SOUTH DAKOTA

South Dakota's quarter is awesome for several reasons. First, there is not a lot that comes to mind when thinking of South Dakota other than Mt. Rushmore. They could have put out a Mt. Rushmore-only quarter and been completly lame, but they decided to add the piece de resistance and put on their coin the coolest bird in the world, the ring-necked pheasant. And because they went with their state icon, Mt. Rushmore, they were able to put a picture of Theodore Roosevelt on their coin. Kudos to you, South Dakota, Teddy Roosevelt and a ring-necked pheasant. Take off Thomas Jefferson and you would have had the best coin ever in the history of mankind.

1. VERMONT


Just a nice looking quarter, wouldn't you say? A crusty old Vermonter tapping a couple of trees on a cold Frebruary morning in the shadow of Camel's Hump. I think it states the simplicity with which a lot of Vermonters live their lives. Again, Vermont didn't need to go with flash and gusto to show the attributs of the state. They didn't put skiiers or images of the naval history of Lake Champlain on their quarter... just a regular fellow tapping his trees to make some syrup. Vermont rules.




That is all for me today.
Take care.

St. Patrick's Day t-shirt

ahoy ahoy.

As you may or may not know, every year Old Navy puts out a St. Patrick's Day t-shirt.

Here you see the t-shirt they put out this year.

I am not a huge fan of Old Navy, but I am a huge fan of St. Patrick and Old Navy sells these cool t-shirts each year for only $5.00. And so I buy one each year.

So last year, a few days before St. Patrick's Day, was was rockin' my Old Navy St. Patrick's Day t-shirt and I went to get my morning coffee.

There is this girl who worked at the coffee shop that I go to who never once said "hello" or "good morning" or "have a good day" to me. She used to be all chatty Cathy with her young, cool-looking young male friends, but not with me. Maybe he never said anything more than "what can i get for you?" and "that's a dollar, forty-eight" to me because I am old and square and have a real job and am married. I don't really care if she doesn't want to have a conversation with me, but a little common courtesy when I am paying way too much for coffee would be nice. "Hi, how are you today?" or "Take it easy," is all I am asking for. All the other people who work there say hello to and exchange pleasantries with me, but not this girl. She always seemed to have this attitude of "I am young and cool and I am only going to talk to young cool people."

So I have established that with the exception of coffee-related queries, she has never said anything to me at all, ever.

So I go walking into the coffee shop with my St. Patrick's day t-shirt on and she is behind the counter and is chatting with some of the aforementioned young, cool friends. I walk up to the counter and ask for a small coffee. She looks at my shirt and says to me "did you know that St. Patrick was actually Roman and not Irish?"

She says it loud enough for her friends to hear and her tone seemed to me to imply that:

1.) She was telling me something that I obviously didn't know.

2.) I was a mindless drone who thinks St. Patrick's day is a made-up holiday fueled by Guinness and is just an excuse to go out and get loaded.

3.) I was into kitschy, holiday-related crap and I should have also been wearing a button that said "Kiss Me I'm Irish."

I looked up at her and considered telling her that I had fairly recently finished reading the second of 2 biographies of St. Patrick. And that I read those "Lives of Saints" books all good Catholic kids get for First Communion and Confirmation. I also considered telling her that he feared that a sin he committed when he was young was so horrible that he would be sent to Hell. I was going to tell her that he once calmed a pack of hungry, barking dogs that threatened to expose him as a runaway slave. I also thought that it might be appropriate to mention that the reason he was so successful in bringing Christianity to Ireland was because he had found a way to integrate Catholic religious ceremonies with the Pagan traditions without compromising the teachings of Jesus or offending the Pagan priests.

I also considered saying "Yes, I actually did know that." But i decided I wanted her and her friends to know what an idiot I thought she was.

So after she said, "Did you know that St. Patrick was actually Roman and not Irish" I said:

"Yeah, no crap." as if to imply that everyone in the whole wide world knew it and that she wasn't actually teaching me anything.

I know that not everyone knows that he was Roman, but that didn't matter.

She always made me feel like she was doing me some gigantic favor by pouring 12 oz of hot liquid into a cup. And she always made me feel like i should feel priviledged that she took the 30 seconds out of her work day to give me her coffee.

And I always really hated the fact that she was the only person who has ever worked there that never once said anything nice to me, but did not hesitate for a second to say "good morning" and "how are you" to the young college-aged people that came in.

And for that matter, it felt really good to kind of say something that had a "why don't you shut the hell up and give me my freaking coffee" feel to it.

But it is not my place to put someone else down mo matter how they may make me feel, so in retrosepct, I feel bad for having said that to her and subsequently feeling good about saying it.

St. Patrick did not become a saint by putting people down, he became a saint by helping people. Therefore I should have instead prayed for her and asked God to help give me the strength to not mind that this person wasn't nice to me.

After the St. Partick's Day t-shirt incident, she went back to never speaking to me at all and a few months later she quit working there.

Crayola

Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street used to show a video of the Crayola factory that was really neat. Everytime I saw that video I thought it would be really cool to go to the factory and see it for real.

Yesterday, Fiona, Amy and I went to the Crayola Factory in Easton, PA. It was a lot of fun. There was a ton of cool stuff to see there and Fiona loved all of it.






Nona with the world's Largest Crayon.

Nona all plumb-tuckered out!!

The only downer on the day: The only place to eat there was a McDonalds. Since it was a Friday in Lent, I was actually looking forward to a Filet o Fish sandwich, but when we got to the counter and asked for one, the lady said to me, "we don't sell fish here." D'oh. I ate half of Amy's french fries, a chewy granola bar, and a gigantic Root Beer.

Fiona Comic

So wise at such a young age!!

ADDENDUM AND APOLOGIES

In my last blog entry, I chronicled all the concerts I have seen with my family. And apparently I forgot a few concerts I have seen with loved ones.

***IN MY DEFENSE: I did say "There is a fairly concise list of the concerts I have been to with family members."

Here are the comments I received:

Mark said: Hello? Rolling Stone in Philly y'all!
Maureen then said: Yeah, what he said!!! You obviously don't remember we were at The Rolling Stones concert at the Vet..also known as your wedding present to us!!! OR our double-date with you & your Mommy!
And then Aunt Louise said: what am I tinsel?Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band in NJ.Did you think that your family does not read your blog?!?I still love you! xo W

Holy Crap I feel bad. I can't remember the last time I ruffled so many feathers in such a short time.

So, just as an update:

I saw The Rolling Stones in Philly not only with my Mommy, but also with Maureen and Mark.

And I saw the Boss in New Jersey not only with my Mommy and Amy, but also with Aunt Louise. AND, Louise and I both failed to remember her graduation gift to me: She took me to see Michael Penn at the Mann Music Center in Philly. Holla that!

Here is a picture of my mom and Louise rockin' with the Boss.

And it had been well documented in Smokin' Dog that Aunt Louise has been very important to my musical development. She got me tickets to see Billy Joel (the first concert I ever went to.) She also got me tickets to see Tin Machine at the Tower (12th row). She took me to see Michael Penn and she got me Bruce Springsteen's autograph. Louise also saw the Rolling Stones when they were only in their 40's. I think she saw Bowie on the Serious Moonlight tour, and I know for a fact that she saw Bruce before I was even a fan.

It should also be noted that while I was at Penn State, my buddies and I had an insatiable thirst for Ballantine Ale. It was somthing that my buddies and I thought was the coolest not only for it's purity, body, and flavor, but also because no one else drank it and no one else seemed to know what it was EXCEPT for old guys... and that was old school and that was super cool. Ballantine became something of a icon for us and to this day it holds a special place in my heart.

I know what you are thinking "Mke, you are handsome and slender, where are you going with this Ballantine line of dialog?" Well, it was my Aunt Louise who introduced us to Ballantine one fateful evening in the fall of 1993.

To surmise: Aunt Louise is the coolest.
Therefore... I offer my heartfelt apologies to Aunt Louise.



Peace.
MPH

Police Part 2

Chris and I did get tickets to see the Police.

The concert is on July 20, so I have 4 months to learn the words to their songs so I can sing along and won't get bored... and so I don't look like a poseur only singing along to the songs off of Synchronicity.

I borrowed The Police's box set, Message in a Box, from Chris which has all of their songs. I put them all on my MP3 player and will rock that exclusively for the next couple of weeks/months.

I wanted to add a few things to the lists from my previous post, stuff that i forgot or didn't mention at the time:

"Bands I am not crazy about that I would like to see in concert" I need to add to that list:
Metallica

"Musicians/Bands I am glad I saw even though I am not crazy about them" I need to add to that list:
Ani DiFranco

And something intersting about all the great live music events i have seen at Hershey Park Stadium: Every concert I have ever been to there has been with family members. I have never seen a concert there with a friend. AND, the only concert I have been to with my dad was at Hershey Park Stadium... That was the Bob Dylan concert where it rained the whole show and Bob skipped a verse in Tangled Up In Blue. BUT he did sing Hard Rain Gonna Fall which was pretty neat.

Concerts I have seen with Mom:
Bob Dylan in Hershey
Rolling Stones in Philly
Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band in New Jersey
Rolling Stones in Hershey

Concerts I have seen with Chris:
Dread Zeppelin in Philly
Red Hot Chili Peppers/Foo Fighters in Hershey

Concerts I have seen with Maureen:
Stone Temple Pilots/Flaming Lips/Butthole Surfers in Philly
Bruce Springsteen and the Seeger Sessions Band in New Jersey

Concerts I have seen with Amy
4 Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band concerts (E. Rutherford N.J., Boston, E. Rutherford again, Philly)
Bruce Springsteen and the Seeger Sessions Band in Camden N.J.
Red Hot Chili Peppers/Fishbone in Montreal
2 Joan Baez concerts in Burlington
2 Ani DiFranco concerts in Burlington
Bob Dylan in Lake Placid
Sun Volt in Burlington
Tenacious D in Burlington
James McMurtry in Burlington
The Zambonis in Burlington
Shawn Colvin in Burlington
Karan Casey in Burlington

Concert I have seen with Dad:
Bob Dylan in Hershey

Concert I saw with Mark:
Bruce Springsteen and the Seeger Sessions Band in Camden N.J.

Concert I saw with Seamus:
Bruce Springsteen and the Seeger Sessions Band in Camden N.J.

There is a fairly concise list of the concerts I have been to with family members.

There will be a test on this at a later date.

Peace,
MPH

Funny Nona Comic

The Police

The Police are going to be playing at HersheyPark Stadium and Christo and I are going to try and get tickets. I don't suppose it will be that hard to get tickets - The Rolling Stones played there and it was quite easy to get those tickets. And they are the most famous band in the WORLD.

I know what a lot of you are thinking - "Mike, you are handsome and slender, but I never knew you were a Police fan." Well, you are right, I am not much of a Police fan. I've always liked them, but never really went nuts for them. They are, however, an iconic band who were very very talented. And I think I want to see them just for that reason. Kind of like the Stones - the first time I saw the Stones, I didn't even own an album of theirs, but I wanted to see them. (And after seeing them live, I wanted to see them again... and if they tour again, I will want to see them again.)

For that same reason, I always wanted to see the Grateful Dead and Ramones. I can not stand the Dead, but they were legends and it would have been cool to have just seen them. Same deal with the Ramones - they started punk rock, you gotta go see a band like that. But, despite the oppurtunity to see both of those bands on several occasions, I never did.

And for that same reason, I am glad that I can say that I saw the following musicians/bands that I like but am not entirely crazy about:
Pearl Jam
Smashing Pumpkins (worst live band ever)
Arlo Guthrie
The Rolling Stones
Marilyn Manson

Here is the list of bands I've had the chance to see, but didn't, and will never get to see:
Nirvana
Grateful Dead

Band I wish I'd at least have been given the chance to see:
Led Zeppelin

Band I need to see at some point in my life:
U2

Bands who I could have seen and are considered 'great' but I think blow:
The Who

So, I will hopefully get to see The Police even though I don't particularly care that much for Sting himself... he seems like kind of a jerk and when he was on the 1988 Amnesty International Tour with Bruce Springsteen, Peter Gabriel, Yousou N'Dour, and Tracey Chapman, he always had this look on his face like he was better than everyone else on the tour.
Item 1: Musically speaking, he wasn't the most best person on the tour, that was Peter Gabriel.
Item 2: Sales-wise, he wasn't the most popular person on the tour, that was Bruce.
Item 3: Connection-to-the-suffering-of-people-in-the-third-world-wise, he wasn't even close to Yousou N'dour despite his trips to save the rain forest, etc etc.
Item 4: Popularity-wise, he wasn't the most most famous person on the tour - that would have been Yousou N'Dour. Yousou N'Dour couldn't walk down the street in any city in all of Africa without being mobbed. He is like Muhammed Ali over there.

One last list:
Musicians I have seen at the HersheyPark Stadium
Bob Dylan
Red Hot Chili Peppers with the Foo Fighters
Rolling Stones

I find it hard to believe that I have see this many great musicians in Hershey PA.

Peace

President's Day Weekend

So far we are having a great president's day weekend.

On Saturday we went to Bombergers and got a new battery for the Subaru. The old battery just was not cold-cranking like all the advertisements on TV say it should be. I took it out and threw it in the creek. Let nature take care of it, I say.



Then we went sledding at the park. Nona LOVED it.

click here to see a video of nona on her sled.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLjUFpJDitU

Amy & Nona took naps and we went up to Reading to see Maureen and Andrew before they left for Massachusetts.


Sunday was another beautiful day. We mostly hung out at home. We did go to Target and then to Lancaster Breweing Company for lunch. You may remember from previous posts on this blog that I once asked for the beer sampler and got like 12 5-oz glasses of beer. I'm not as dumb as I was on Saturday July 14, 2005. I got one pint of Litening Lager and I enjoyed it a great deal.

We got home and Nona and Amy took a loooong nap as I worked on some projects. After they woke up, Nona and I watched the Daytona 500. She really seemed to like it.


I went to bed around 10:00 and slept great knowing that I did not have to be at work the next day. That felt great.


Here is a comic I 'wrote.' Maureen and Erin say I shouldn't be allowed to say that I 'wrote' a comic if all I did was draw some pictures with other people saying funny things. Perhaps I will say this: here is a poorly drawn representation of Me and Amy chronicling something funny that Amy said.



Peace
(Jesus Peace, Not Hippie Peace)
MPH

Morro Castle Maritime Disaster

I saw a book at the library called When The Dancing Stopped: The Real Story of the Morro Castle Disaster and its Deadly Wake. It is a piece of non-fiction about a shipwreck and something drew me to it. As I always do with a new book, I look at the pictures first. After a few ho-hum photos of the principal characters of the book, I came across this picture:

clearly that is the Asbury Park Convention Hall. As you all probably know, I saw Bruce Springsteen there in April. I thought it was pretty cool, and I was further intrigued by the book so checked it out.

Back at work, before actually getting to read anything more than the jacket of the book, I was flipping through the pages and came across the title of Chapter Ten: Greetings From Asbury Park, N.J. That, of course, is the title of Bruce's first album. I figured the author was throwing it out there kind of as a joke, like 'this would be a funny name for a chapter in the book and maybe some Bruce fans will get a kick out of it.' well, I certainly did get a kick out of it.

On my afternoon break, I started to read the prologue of the book... I won't relate to you the details of the prologue, as it has nothing to do with this blog entry, other than to say that there is a man on trial awaiting the jury's verdict in his murder case. At one point the defendant is thinking back to his days when he was nationally known as the hero of the Morro Castle disaster and enjoyed a brief speaking engagment recounting his heroics. What struck me was that on pabe xvi, author Brian Hicks, uses the phrase "he thought back to better days..." as opposed to "he thought back to a better time in his life" or "he thought back to his prime." He uses the words "Better Days." Better Days is a Bruce song. Of course, I thought that it was no coincidence.

I am way past my days of relating every blessed thing to Bruce, or every use of the number 37 to Cool Hand Luke, but this book was begging me to tally the Bruce Springsteen references... and there were a lot!

I counted 17. Some are a stretch, but I am taking them anyway and I will offer an explaination of each.

1. Page xvi - Better Days

2. Page 20 - "in the summer" as in "in the summer all the lights would shine..." from Mansion on the Hill

3. Page 51 - St. Mary's - Hicks speaks of a priest onboard the Morro Castle and specifically mentions he is from St. Mary's Church. In "independance day" Bruce says "We're leaving this morning from St. Mary's Gate..." and in "linda let me be the one" he says "in the basement of St. Mary's" I know - you are thinking that this is a little bit of a stretch, but I don't think it was necessary to mention the name of his home parish other than to make a Bruce reference.

4. Page 131 - he uses the word "darkness", as in "Darkness on the Edge of Town." again, one word does not a reference make, but when it is an iconic word of the Bruce lexicon, I gotta throw it in there.

5. Page 131 - chapter title "Greetings From Asbury Park, N.J." Nuf said.

6. Page 161 - Fourth of July - as in the song "Fourth of July, Asbury Park (Sandy)" again, a popular holiday as a Bruce reference? Yes, I am going to take it.

7. Page 161 - Calliope - as in "The calliope crashes to the ground" from "Blinded by the Light."

8 Page 161 - the palace amusement hall - as in "beyond the palace, hemi-powered drones stream down the boulevard" from Born To Run.

9. Page 162 - Madame Marie - as in "did you hear the cops finally busted Madame Marie for telling fortunes better than they do?" from Fourth of July, Asbury Park (Sandy). (It should be noted that when the Morro Castle was shipwrecked in Asbury Park, Madame Marie would have been there for less than 2 years and would have hardly been the icon of the boardwalk that she has become." Here is a picture of Me, Noel, & Nathaniel at Madame Marie's "Temple of Knowledge."

10 - Page 163 - now here is the quote that made me realize I was right all along. Concerning the scene on the deck of the Morro Castle after the fire, Hicks makes reference to "the skeletal frames of burned-out deck chairs." In Bruce's song "Thunder Road" he sings of "the skeletal frames of burned-out Cheverolets." Now, if that is not a direct reference to Bruce, I don't know what is.

11. Page 164 - Hicks refers to the 1930's Asbury Park as a "city of ruins." Bruce referred to Asbury Park as a 'city of ruins' in his song about Asbury Park called "My City of Ruins."

12. Page 232 - ambulance pulled away - as in "no one watches as an ambulance pulls away..." from Bruce's best song - Jungleland. (Jungleland was the first song Fiona ever heard. I played it for her when she was like 10 minutes old.)

13. Page 256 - Jersey Girl - technically, this is a Tom Waits reference, but Bruce kind of made the song his own on his live album.

The rest are just scattered words that bring Bruce to mind:

14. Page 176 - Rumble "There's gonna be a rumble out on the promenade..." - Atlantic City (and the title of Bruce's wife's first album - Rumble Doll)

15. Page 176 - Thunder - Thunder Road

16. Page 181 - Midway - "He carrys him off down the midway..." - Wild Billy's Circus Story

17. Page 281 - Deserted - 4 songs - Independence Day, Wreck on the Highway, Waitin' on a Sunny Day, Sinola Cowboys.

I know that some of them, like the places in and around Asbury Park, might just be coincidence, but he only mentioned 6 or 7 specific place, and 5 of them were mentioned in Bruce songs. He talked about the a ride called the Calliope... were there not 20 other rides that he could have mentioned?

ALSO - he mentioned the Asbury Park Casino (which was torn down 2 weeks ago). Bruce filmed a couple of videos in there. And he mentioned the intersection of Ocean Ave & First Ave - There is a somewhat famous picture of Bruce taken at that corner - he is leaning against the street sign that says "ocean ave/first ave" with a ferris wheel behind him.

So, if you think I am crazy and am still hyper-obsessed with Bruce (as opposed to just being regular-obsessed) please read this:

After finishing the book, in the afterword, Hicks says when he first saw the picture of the Morrow Castle that is at the top of the page, he felt like he knew where it was without knowing where it was. He knew where it was because he remembered the Asbury Park Convention Hall from a trip he and a friend took to Asbury Park... a trip to see what Bruce was singing about. ALSO, in his thank yous as the end of the book, he thanks Bruce Springsteen and says that Bruce provided the soundtrack for all his travels while researching the book.

IN CONCLUSION: This book was really good - with or without the Bruce references. I only enjoy non-fiction, and I generally only enjoy that when it is a decent story. And this book certainly was a good story. Intrigue, suspense, heroics, psychopaths, commies, unions, and a lot of interesting characters - some weirdos, some very endearing.

peace

mph

Stylish New Glasses

In my last post, I put up a comic I wrote about my stylish new glasses and Chris' reaction to my stylish new glasses. Maureen asked to see a picture of my stylish new glasses, so here is a picture of me celebrating my 35th birthday with Fiona while wearing my stylish new glasses. Under which, I have included a picture of Rivers Cuomo, the lead singer of Weezer and half of the inspiration for the comic about Chris' reaction to my stylish new glasses.

Me and Nona

.

Rivers Cuomo, the lead singer of Weezer.

.

Peace

MPH

My New MP3 Player and a very funny comic

With the money I got for my birthday, I bought myself a new MP3 player on eBay. I got it for less than it is sold for in the stores, so I am stoked.


Here is what I put on it to start off: Bruce Springsteen's Devils and Dust and Darkness on the Edge of Town. And a new Irish band called "U2." I put an album of theirs called "The Joshua Tree" and a new recording of theirs calls "How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb." This band is really talented and mark my words, they will be a big success. Seriously, though, I only just recently started listening to The Joshua Tree. I always loved Rattle and Hum and Zooropa, but never got into Joshua Tree. Let me say this now: that album is really really good and it as a song on it about a coal mining town called "Red Hill Mining Town." which led me to think of good songs about coal mining (or in some cases, just mining in general):


North Country Blues by Bob Dylan
North Country Blues by Joan Baez
Fare Thee Well Old Ely Branch by Aunt Molly Jackson
The L&M Don't Stop Here Any More By Michelle Shocked
The L&M Don't Stop Here Any More By Johnny Cash
Red Hill Mining Town by U2
Big Bad John by Jimmy Dean
Blood On The Coal by The Folksmen
Youngstown by Bruce Springsteen
Working in a Coal Mine by DEVO
1913 Massacre by Woody Guthrie


Shall I put them in order of best to worst? I shall.
1. North Country Blues by Joan Baez... (oh yeah, you heard me Dylan, I put Joan Baez's ahead of yours. I think her voice in the song, the narrator being a woman is more powerful than a man singing... when a woman tells the tale, it is of woe and helplessness... when a man sings the song it is of anger and emasculation.)
2. The L&M Don't stop here any more by Michelle Shocked
3. 1913 Massacre by Woody
4. Youngstown by Bruce Springsteen (When I die i don't want no part of Heaven, I would not to heaven's work well, I pray the devil comes and takes me to work in the fiery furnaces of Hell."
5. North Country Blues by Bob Dylan
6. Red Hill Mining Town by U2
7 Fare Thee Well of Ely Branch by Aunt Molly
8 L&M by Johnny Cash
9 Blood on the Coal by the Folksmen - that is the band in The Mighty Wind
10. Bad John by Jimmy Dean - my dad used to sing this song to me when i was a kid.
11 Working in a Coal Mine by DEVO


Other songs I remember my dad singing to me when I was a kid:
Rockin' Robin






peace,
mph

My Birthday

So I had a birthday yesterday. I am now 35 and I only have to work for like 28 more years. Niiiiice.



When I got home from work yesterday, Fiona was standing at the back door waiting for me. When I opened the door she yelled "Haaappy BIRthday, Daaaaddy!!!!" that was really awesome.



We had my favorite, Cream of Broccoli Soup. Along with it, we had Baked Brie and crackers, and then some Ice Cream Cake. You can not go wrong with ice cream cake.



Amy, Fiona, and Mom Z gave me a gift certificate to the local hobby shop to help me start building my model railroad layout. Here is what i am hoping it will look like:





Seriously, though, Larry has a really cool layout and I am thinking of setting something up in the basement. Fiona really likes Larry's layout and I am thinking it will be something she and I can do together.





Here is a comic that I think is kind of funny. It is a true story of something that Amy said a few months ago. I don't know why, but lately I have been coming up with decent comic ideas, I write them down, and then, like 3 months later, I draw them. I'd like to start drawing comics a lot more, like I used to.





Amy is concerned that you can't tell that the woman in the comic is Amy. I think it goes without saying. She says it is easy to pick me out because I am wearing a Phillies hat. She said "maybe when you draw me, you can draw something at people associate with me" So I think that all future Amy comics will be of her doing pottery. I don't know how that will play out, but I suppose we will see. Or perhaps, I will just start drawing her with a flower on her shirt or something like that.

Peace
mph

Couple of Things and an outdated comic

The Eagles season is over. It was a fun season. My favorite thing about the Eagles season was that Fiona and I (and sometimes Amy) would go up to Mom and Dad's to watch the game every sunday. So I will miss that. Mom asked me if I'd want to come up and watch all the Phillies games this year. That would be a monumental endeavor, but I think it would be fun. I don't suppose it will happen, though.



My favorite part of the Eagles game on saturday was when they showed that woman in the crowd with an offensive t-shirt . Mom missed it and i said "that will be on YouTube by halftime."
YouTube proved me wrong, but it was up there by Noon on sunday.



Here is a comic I wrote around Halloween:

I think it would have been funnier if Amy would have said "makerel" or "walleye" but then i could not have written "a true story" behind it.

this and that and 3 crappy comix

the work year is over and i managed to do something i have never done before - i actually carried over some vacation time from this year to next year. Somehow I managed to not use 1 hour of vacation and will have the pleasure of 3 weeks and one hour of vacation time in 2007, instead of merely 3 weeks.

Andrew Patrick now has his own blog and it is a lot of fun to look at. if you look closely, you may see some of the familiar faces you see here at scrapple dog.

Christmas Day at Mom & Dad's house was awesome. Instead of giving a detailed description of everything that went on, i have decided to just throw out the following words:

Cheesy Potatoes.

Tigger Fishing Rod.

Le Cruset Pot

Swiss Army Watch.

Dad's Home-made Hot Sauce.

The Eagles Rule.

The new beck cd rules. It is reminiscent of Odelay and I find it more enjoyable than Midnight Vultures and Guero (i never really was all that nuts for Guero). I think Mutations and Odelay are still his best two "popular" albums. And One Foot In The Grave is still his best album. Stereopathetic SoulMaure still has the best name but is not his best album.

And to anyone who confuses Beck with Jeff Beck, let me say this - Jeff Beck sucks. I don't care if he was in the Yardbirds... the only decent member of the Yardbirds was Jimmy Page... you all know that Eric Clapton never did anything original - NEVER. He made millions ripping off the poor black musicians of the deep-south and then ripped off George Harrison. Screw Clapton.

We hung out with the Zecchinellis and Steiners on Dec 26 and a good time was had by all. It was great to see Jason and Fiona was super excited about seeing Kellen.

somthing funny that was put into the Michael P. Holland lexicon a few days before Christmas was saying "nothing says 'blessed be the Christ child like ..... "

Examples: Amy said "I'm hungry." Then I said "How about Burger King... Nothing says 'blessed be the Christ child like a Bacon-Double Cheeseburger."

or: Mom Z says: "What's on tv?" And I say "Nothing says 'blessed be the Christ Child' like a little Law and Order:SVU."

Also, you don't actually have to say it out loud... you can just think it. Like when I went outside to have a ciggie on Christmas Eve. I thought, "Nothing says "blessed be the Christ Child' like a nice Camel Light."

now: 3 unfunny comix. All three are TRUE STORIES!!

Zonenbrilla involves a young woman i work with.

Teamwork involves two women i work with and Blythe's response to their 'comversaion.'

Beach is just not funny.

this comic is also reminiscent of when Dritsas came to visit me in Vermont and was wearing a black leather jacket and i asked him if he got it at Donny Brosco's Garage Sale.

all right.

peace. see you in 2007.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Merry Christmas!!

So far we are having a wonderful Christmas Day. We got up around 7:00 and went downstairs to see what Santa Claus brought for Fiona.

Fiona was very happy with all the loot under the tree.

Santa brought her an Easel and art supplies.

He brought her an Easy-bake oven, cooking utensils, an apron and a chef's hat.

He brought her a train.

Santa brought Fiona a backpack.

Santa brought her a Greetings From Asbury Park t-shirt.

And he he got her a sled... now if it would only snow a little.

I guess I avoided the naughty list, because I received a few gifts myself. Fiona gave me the Onion's Page a day calendar, Amy gave me the new Beck CD. And Mom Z gave me the most awesome Christmas any son-in-law could possibly ask for: A bottle of Woodford Reserve Whisky!

Santa was very good to Amy also, she got a Yoga DVD and she got Amy Sedaris' "I like you: Hospitality under the Influence" book.

Mom Z also got a visit from St. Nick. He brought her a crucifix for her new home.

We had a wonderful Christmas Morning and we are looking forward to spending the rest of the day relaxing with our family in Reading, Celebrating Aunt Louise's birthday, and of course, watching the Eagles play the Cowboys. I do hope that the icing on the Christmas Cake is a big win for the Eagles.

Peace be with you all.

Merry Christmas!

Rudolph

Last week, I watched Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. I remembered why I hate it so much. The only good thing is that Burl Ives sings in it, but even that is countered by the fact that he holds a banjo, but there is no banjo music. Whatever.

Any way, I decided to re-release the interview I did with Rudolph a few years ago.

This was originally published in Smokin' Dog, Volume III, Issue 5, November/December 2000. I hope you enjoy.

INTERVIEW WITH RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER
Last week, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer came over for dinner and to be interviewed.
During the interview I found out some thingst that I later wished I hadn't (he's been to the Betty Ford Clinic several times, he's thrice divorced) and some things which, quite frankly, shocked the hell out of me (graduated Suma Cul Laude from Yale and he once had his name legally changed to Rudolph X). All in all it as been a roller-caster ride for one of Christmas' most popular icons.
So here it is, the interview with the Red-Nosed Reindeer. (I have taken te liberty to remove all expletives.)

SMOKIN' DOG: There has been a lot of specuation about yor childhood not being a happy one. Tell me about it.
RUDOLPH: Well, it wasn't a happy one at all. My parents, especially my father, were very ashamed of me. He made that abundantly clear. He would cover my nose with coal so that people couldn't see it. I was his only son and he was ashamed of me. And then he'd yell at my mother telling her it was her fault... because she drank when she was pregnant with me. But that was his fault as well. he was a speed freak. He was on coke all the time, I mean, he was the lead puller and all.

SD: How about the infamous flying tryouts?
R: Well it's all right there on tape. I flew further than anyone else, and I got cut because of my nose. I mean, what the hell is up with that? My nose has nothing to do with my ability to fly.

SD: But you did lead the sleigh later. Was that a bittersweet victory?
R: Hell no. The only reason I lead the sleigh was because they could exploit my freakish quality. I mean do y ou honestly think they would have let me lead the sleigh if I didn't have the nose? And when I did lead the sleigh, you hear my dad singing a different tune. He was all "That's my son!! That's MY son!" Two days earlier he verbally abused me to the point that I decided to run away and now he's proud of me?

SD: Why did you run away?
R: Well, I got to the point where i just wanted to kill. I mean I wanted them dead, but I am not a violent person, so I removed myself from the situation.

SD: Ket's talke about Santa a little. Do you have issues with him?
R: Yes I do. For starters, he doesn't pay his people what they are worth. He works them elves ten hours a day six days a week at starvation wages. He owns the company store and all the houses that the elves are required to rent. All the wages he pays them, he takes right back. And if they miss one day of work, he docks them a week's wages... Santa is a very greedy bastard, he's aobut one thing and one thing only: money, money, and more money. And that guy is worth well over $100 Billion. He's got that sweet deal with Coca-Cola, he's got deals with every single company, and he's got a contract with every mall and department store in America.

SD: But he does good works, right? I mean he gives to the rich and poor alike.
R: Yeah, but it's all about image. Image is everything to that jerk. He ain't out there giving the poor kids the PlayStations and the rich kids the misfit toys. He gives the poor kids the crappy toys.

SD: How about the working conditions?
R: Horrible. I tried like mad to unionize that place, but I couldn't get enough people to stand together. I mean, a strike on December 24 would have shut that place down, man. Do you know how much potential for power there is for the elves on Christmas Eve? They could cancel Christmas if they wanted, but any time there is a Union talk around the shop, Santa comes in and throws them a couple of bucks and that quells the uprising...And it's even worse for the Reindeer. We're expendable. There are literally tens of thousands of deer out there...The reindeer fly around the world, the entire world, in one night. Santa goes home and has a nice meal and goes to sleep for ten days in his huge bed. Do you know what the reindeer get? An apple, some carrots and wool blanket in the stable. Do you know how incredibly cold it gets at the North Pole in the middle of winter?

There isn't anything eles to really report. He went off about the pressures of being the only reindeer in the world with his own song adn how the other deer can't handle the pressure, etc. etc. That part of the interview was so laden with foul language that I couldn't even put it into a coherent sentence.

He did have one parting thing to say: He does hope that everone in the world has a very Merry Christmas.

Nona's Big Girl Bed

God Bless Ikea.

Amy and My Mom went down to Ikea a few weeks ago and picked up a bed for Fiona. Today Fiona and I put it together. She loves it already.

Fiona showing WHY she needed a big girl bed!

Me trying got figure out which 2 of the 837 pieces I needed to put together first.

Nona helps me put some of the bolts in place.



Nona in her New Big Girl Bed!!

After putting her bed together, Fiona and I went up to town to celebrate with some pizza at Nino's, we went to Lititz Springs Park to feed the ducks, stopped by the Lititz Welcome Center to see if there was a Christmas Parade (there is not), we stopped by the Manger Scene to look at Baby Jesus, we got some Chocolate Milk, and then we went to Bombergers to get something to fix our leaky pipe.

Then we came home and Fiona went right up to her bedroom to lay in her big girl bed... She seems too excited about it to sleep though. She is down there right now climbing in her bed then climbing out of her bed. Climbing in, climbing out.

It makes me happy that she is so excited about her new bed.

Before it was even close to being done, she started putting stickers on it. She is already personalizing it and I am thinking it will only be a matter of time before it is completely covered in stars, hearts, bird, and hello kitty stickers.

Peace,

MPH

Trip to the Hunting Camp

Veteran's Day weekend is my favorite weekend of the year.

I go up to the cabin with Dad and Larry and we hunt grouse. My dad and Larry are both Veterans of the Armed Services, so I am glad to be able to spend the weekend with them.

I rode up to the camp with Larry on Thursday evening. We stopped at Mom Zimmerman's house to pick up a recliner for the camp. Amy's Mom no longer needs the chair, and it is still in great condition, so it will make an excellent addition to the camp.

Dad tests out the new recliner

We got to the camp around 10. Dad was already there with jackdog.

On Friday morning, we got up and hunted. Jackdog sniffed out a few grouse and the tried to make a break for it. I shot one, but the other three got away. I thought I shot another one, but apparently I did not. As the second bird was flying I was already hoping to revel in the glory of having two dead birds in the air without Dad and/or Larry even taking a shot. After I shot the bird, Jackdog sprung into action. He ran directly to the bird, pinned it down, picked it up and retrieved it to Dad and handed it to him. It was really neat to see.
Me and Jackdog with my first grouse.

We then hunted on Larry's property along the old logging road. Jackdog flushed one bird that Dad shot. Dad and I both saw the bird on the ground and Jack went right to the bird but it was no where to be found. Dad and I both swear we saw Jackdog pick up the bird, but apparently we were mistaken. We looked and looked and could not find that bird.

We then hunted down along where the old electric fence was. We always get birds out there. One took off but none of us got a shot at it. We had a few more flushes, a few more shots, but no more dead birds.

After hunting, Dad went down to Long Pond to try to catch Mr. Big, the gigantic brown trout that has been taunting him for 3 years. On Thursday, dad got him to take the bait, but was unable to set the hook and Mr. Big swam away. Friday was no better. Dad fished for about an hour and a half with no bites at all. That fish is the bane of my old man's existence.

On Friday evening we had some stew I made and we watched Patton on AMC.

Saturday was dreary, so we got out early to hunt Larry's property again. As we walked the old logging road it started to really pour. We had no luck. So we went back down to the electric fence and hunted that. One bird took off, Larry fired and got it. Again, Jackdog went to the bird, pinned it down and retrieved it.

We got back to the camp, made a fire and relaxed for the evening.

I had brought a bottle of Ridgemont Reserve 1792 Bourbon and we put a hurting on it and on a bottle of Woodford Reserve that Larry had brought with.

It was a great weekend and I am already looking forward to next year's trip.

Acorns - horrible horrible acorns

The oak tree out back has blessed us this year with literally thousands of acorns.

Today i raked almost all of the acorns out into the street. It was a gignatic pain in the neck.

I also got 5 blisters from it.

I was thinking of making an acorn pie for thanksgiving, but have been unable to come up with a recipe for it. i did, however, find a bunch of recipes for other acorn stuff. Like acorn bread, acorn stew, and acron griddle cakes. The more i think about it, the more i think it is a crappy idea.

when i oribinally went to google to search for recipes for acorn pie, it came back with a ton of sites. However all of the recipes for "acorn pie" were actually for pecan pies. ??? that don't make no sense. I have never heard of a pecan pie called an acorn pie.

My sister makes the best pecan pies. I was never a big fan of pecans, other than when my mom would make Pecan Puffs at Christmastime, but two or three years ago, Reen brought a couple of pecan pies for thanksgiving and they were delicious.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and here is why: It has all of the best parts of Christmas - the family togetherness and the gigantic meal - without all of the expense of buying gifts. There is no pressure with Thanksgiving - I don't have to worry about someone not liking what I got them. All i have to do is show up with a Pumpkin Pie, hang out with my family, listen to dad and snook talk about their folks, listen to Christo and Maureen make fun of me, and eat a ton of food. Then i get to sleep on the couch and watch football. What on earth could possibly be better??? oh yeah... and I have off from work the next day.

peace.